<center><h1>The Bible And Sexual Sin</h1></center><hr /><p>Among Christians, there is much confusion regarding sexual sin. The explanations below lists those “grey areas” that we hope will bring clarity to what is and is not biblically permissible. </p><h4>MASTURBATION (SELF-SEX)</h4><p>If you are masturbating in secret or substituting it for sex with your wife, then it is a sin and goes against biblical principles because:</p><ul><li>You become carnally minded. Masturbation is about self-gratification—it gratifies the flesh (Romans 8:5 (NIV) and 2 Corinthians 3:1–5 (NIV)). </li><li>It creates shame in your life, which leads to intimacy problems in your relationship with God and others. </li><li>You become enslaved:The neurochemicals released during masturbation have the same addictive effect as drugs. Single men, who think that masturbation will help relieve their sexual desire before marriage, set themselves up for addiction that will continue in their marriage. Don’t be deceived. If God is not enough for you when you’re single, your wife will not be enough for you when you’re married. </li><li>You fantasize; it’s almost impossible to masturbate without fantasizing, which creates strongholds in the mind. </li><li>You violate God’s purpose for sex, which is for procreation and pleasure by putting the other person’s sexual needs and desires above your own. Masturbation eliminates both. </li><li>You open the door to other sexual sins, such as pornography, premarital sex, adultery, and more. </li></ul><h4>ORAL SEX</h4><p>Permissible within the covenant of marriage, but is considered fornication outside of marriage because it is a sexual act. Oral sex should only be with mutual consent and enjoyment— never a demand. In the Song of Solomon, God encourages married people to enjoy His gift of sex to the full. Some who have studied the Bible, such as Joseph Dillow (Solomon on Sex), think that “fruit” and “garden” references may be meant as metaphors for oral sex. </p><h4>ANAL SEX</h4><p>No scriptures specifically mention anal sex, but this doesn’t mean that it is not a sin. Scripture is clear that your body belongs to God and is the temple of the Holy Spirit; as an act of worship, your body is to be presented to God as holy and acceptable </p><p><i ><strong>1 Corinthians 6:16 (NIV):</strong>&nbsp; Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your body. </i></p><p><i ><strong>Romans 12:1 (NIV):</strong>&nbsp;Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. </i></p><p>The act of anal sex is referred to as sodomy, which the Bible condemns as an unnatural way to have intercourse. Hence, anal sex is defiling the marriage bed. Whenever you intentionally put your body at risk for harm and disease, you are dishonoring God’s &quot;temple.&quot; </p><p>Here are a few health reasons explaining the harmful effects of anal sex:</p><ul><li>The anus is full of bacteria. Penetration can tear the tissue inside the anus, allowing bacteria and viruses to enter the bloodstream. Having vaginal sex after anal sex can also lead to vaginal, bladder, and kidney infections. </li><li>The anus was designed to hold in feces. Because the sphincter muscle was not designed to dilate continuously like the vagina, forced dilation can lead to future incontinence, which means repetitive anal sex can lead to a weakening of the anal sphincter, making it difficult to hold your bowels. </li><li>Studies show that the person receiving anal sex often experiences shame and embarrassment which can lead to depression. </li></ul><h4>FANTASY</h4><p>Whether you are married or single, sexual fantasy is sin. Jesus said, &quot;But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart&quot; (Matthew 5:28 (NIV)) . When you fantasize sexually you &quot;look&quot; at a woman through the eye-gate of your mind and lust for her within your heart. </p><p>The Apostle Paul writes, &quot;Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things&quot; (Philippians 4:8 (NIV)). Fantasies are what Satan often uses to highjack and defile our minds. Furthermore, sexual fantasy often leads to masturbation and opens the door to premarital sex and adultery. </p><h4>PETTING (TOUCHING YOUR PARTNER’S PRIVATE PARTS)</h4><p>Permitted within marriage by mutual consent, but is a sin outside of marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7:1 (KJV), Scripture says, &quot;It is good for a man not to touch a woman.&quot; One of the meanings for the Greek word for &quot;touch&quot; means &quot;to press against in such a way as to kindle or catch on fire.&quot; So another way to translate this verse would be, &quot;It is good for a man not to touch a woman so that they become sexually aroused.&quot; </p><p><i ><strong>Note:</strong>&nbsp;Some of the above information is adapted and/or summarized from the Marriage, Sexuality and Personal Development section from Probe Ministries:<a href='http://probe.org' target='_blank'>probe.org</a></i ></p>

Bible and Sex

<h2><center> <strong>A Double Bind </strong></center></h2><hr /> <br /><br /><p> When we are faced with change, it often includes giving up something—a behavior, substance, or feeling—in order to move in the direction of health. This is a double bind; a lose/lose situation. You have a difficult choice to make that involves risk: the risk of feeling unsafe, unloved, or judged. A double bind involves many risks, but there is also risk in staying where you are; stuck in your addiction and isolation. Understanding and processing your double bind, taking the steps that lead to a solution, is key to living in restoration.</p><p> For example, you are co-leading a Conquer Group and have been sober for several months. Recent job stresses prompted a relapse of pornography use and masturbation. You are faced with a double bind; a lose/lose situation. You know that the right thing to do is confess the relapse to someone in your Conquer Group and to your wife within 24 hours. This, however, will result in consequences: your wife will be hurt by your behavior, trust will be lost, and you will have to sleep outside of the bedroom for one week, among other things. You will also have to step down from your leadership position in your Conquer Group, until sobriety is again established.</p><p> The alternative would be to say nothing; you tell yourself, “This was an isolated incident that will never happen again.” You have been here before and know that living with the lie—the shame and guilt of keeping this secret—will keep you captive in your addiction, pulling you away from relationship with God and others. Either choice you make comes with its own consequences. This is a double bind.</p><p> Here’s another example: You are single and part of a Conquer Group. You have struggled with sexual addiction and promiscuous behavior in the past, but are now experiencing sobriety and accountability through your group. Your current relationship has gone sideways and you feel it may come to an end. Familiar feelings return: the overwhelming fear of rejection and loneliness begin to surface. Impulsively, you contact and go out with an old girlfriend; although you don’t have sex with her, you engage physically with her. You relapse.</p><p> You could keep this relapse a secret. No one has to know. However, you know that will only give the enemy power over you and your desire to live in freedom from your addiction. You’re facing a double bind. If you confess to your Conquer Group, they will implement the consequences you established through your relapse prevention plan. This would include confessing to your current girlfriend and experiencing the consequences of betraying her trust. This relationship may end. You may also need to contact your old girlfriend and ask forgiveness for using her to medicate your pain.</p><p> Clearly, this is a lose/lose situation. You will find freedom in confessing, but also experience the consequences. On the other hand, hiding this secret also carries consequences: it will eat you up inside, destroying the relationship you have with God and others, keeping you trapped in your addiction. At its core, a double bind requires that you make a difficult choice, but a choice that will continue to move you toward health and deepen your relationship with God, the men in your Conquer Group, and others.</p><p> The choices you make, especially those that require a difficult change, frequently involve processing your double bind. On a weekly basis, during your Group Check-In, you will be asked to identify your most challenging double bind for the week.</p> <br /><blockquote> <em >The hard thing to do is usually the right thing to do. <strong>— Dr. Ted Roberts </strong></em ></blockquote>

DoubleBind

<h2><center> <strong>The FASTER Relapse Awareness Scale </strong></center></h2><hr /> <br /><br /><p> The FASTER Relapse Awareness Scale (FASTER Scale) was designed to help an individual recognize their current behaviors as they contribute to relapse. It is only through understanding and identifying harmful patterns in our behavior that we can successfully create an intervention; a relapse prevention plan.</p><p> Addiction is characterized by the repetition of specific behaviors—despite any negative effects or consequences—used to self-sooth or cope with the stressors in life. Everyone is addicted to something; and whether it is a behavior, substance or feeling, it is what we use to manage the unpredictability of life.</p><p> Lifelong healing comes from discovering the core of our behaviors—exposing the pain and trauma behind why we do what we do—processing the wound and moving toward health. This is critical to recovery. It is only through an objective awareness of our behaviors that we are able to change and grow, moving us back to restoration.</p><p> Every letter in the word “FASTER” indicates a level of behaviors, attitudes and feelings that often cover or mask our true emotion of pain and fear. The scale depicts how easily our behaviors progress, on a slippery-slope, ending in Relapse. Whether the provocation is neurological or environmental, the pattern of movement toward relapse will become more obvious over time. Developing an awareness of our unique behaviors and patterns will help us avoid relapse, implement an intervention strategy, and maintain restoration.</p><p> <strong >Recovery/Restoration—(Accepting life on God’s terms, with trust, grace, mercy, vulnerability and gratitude.) </strong >No current secrets; working to resolve problems; identifying fears and feelings; keeping commitments to meetings, prayer, family, church, people, goals, and self; being open and honest, making eye contact; increasing in relationship with God and others; true accountability.</p><p> <strong >Forgetting Priorities—(Start believing the present circumstances and moving away from trusting God. Denial, flight, a change in what’s important; how you spend your time, energy, and thoughts.) </strong >Secrets; less time/energy for God, meetings, church; avoiding support and accountability people; superficial conversations; sarcasm; isolating; changes in goals; obsessed with relationships; breaking promises and commitments; neglecting family; preoccupation with material things, T.V., computers, entertainment; procrastination; lying; over-confidence; bored; hiding money.</p><p> <strong >FORGETTING PRIORITIES THEN LEADS TO: Anxiety—(A growing background noise of undefined fear; getting energy from emotions.) </strong >Worry, using profanity, being fearful; being resentful; replaying old, negative thoughts; perfectionism; judging other’s motives; making goals and lists that you can’t complete; mind reading; fantasy, co-dependent rescuing; sleep problems, trouble concentrating, seeking/creating drama; gossip; using over-the-counter medication for pain, sleep or weight control; flirting.</p><p> <strong >ANXIETY THEN LEADS TO: Speeding Up—(Trying to outrun the anxiety which is usually the first sign of depression.) </strong >Super busy and always in a hurry (finding good reason to justify the work), workaholic, can’t relax; avoiding slowing down; feeling driven; can’t turn off thoughts; skipping meals; binge eating (usually at night); overspending; can’t identify own feelings/needs; repetitive negative thoughts; irritable; dramatic mood swings; too much caffeine; over exercising; nervousness; difficulty being alone and/or with people; difficulty listening to others; making excuses for having to “do it all.”</p><p> <strong >SPEEDING UP THEN LEADS TO: Ticked Off—(Getting an adrenaline high on anger and aggression.) </strong >Procrastination causing crisis in money, work, and relationships; increased sarcasm; black and white (all or nothing) thinking; feeling alone; nobody understands; overreacting, road rage; constant resentments; pushing others away; increasing isolation; blaming; arguing; irrational thinking; can’t take criticism; defensive; people avoiding you; needing to be right; digestive problems; headaches; obsessive (stuck) thoughts; can’t forgive; feeling superior; using intimidation.</p><p> <strong >TICKED OFF THEN LEADS TO: Exhausted—(Loss of physical and emotional energy; coming off the adrenaline high, and the onset of depression.) </strong >Depressed; panicked; confused; hopelessness; sleeping too much or too little; can’t cope; overwhelmed; crying for “no reason”; can’t think; forgetful; pessimistic; helpless; tired; numb; wanting to run; constant cravings for old coping behaviors, thinking of using sex, drugs, or alcohol; seeking old unhealthy people and places; really isolating; people angry with you; self-abuse; suicidal thoughts; spontaneous crying; no goals; survival mode; not returning phone calls; missing work, irritability; no appetite.</p><p> <strong >EXHAUSTED THEN LEADS TO: Relapse/Moral Failure—(Returning to the place you swore you would never go again.) </strong >Giving up and giving in; out of control; lost in your addiction; lying to yourself and others; feeling you just can’t manage without your coping behaviors, at least for now. The result is the reinforcement of shame, guilt and condemnation; and feelings of abandonment and being alone.</p><p style='font-size: 10px;'> Adapted from the Genesis Process by Michael Dye (used with permission) <em>www.genesisprocess.org </em></p> <br /><h2><center> <strong>Using The FASTER Scale </strong></center></h2><hr /> <br /><br /><p> On a daily basis, you will identify where you are at, within each level, on the FASTER Scale. You will make observations about your specific behaviors, identifying patterns that move you toward relapse. Remember, it is only through this awareness process that you can change your behaviors.</p>

Faster

<center><h1>The Bible And Sexual Sin</h1></center><hr /><p>Among Christians, there is much confusion regarding sexual sin. The explanations below lists those “grey areas” that we hope will bring clarity to what is and is not biblically permissible. </p><h4>MASTURBATION (SELF-SEX)</h4><p>If you are masturbating in secret or substituting it for sex with your wife, then it is a sin and goes against biblical principles because:</p><ul><li>You become carnally minded. Masturbation is about self-gratification—it gratifies the flesh (Romans 8:5 (NIV) and 2 Corinthians 3:1–5 (NIV)). </li><li>It creates shame in your life, which leads to intimacy problems in your relationship with God and others. </li><li>You become enslaved:The neurochemicals released during masturbation have the same addictive effect as drugs. Single men, who think that masturbation will help relieve their sexual desire before marriage, set themselves up for addiction that will continue in their marriage. Don’t be deceived. If God is not enough for you when you’re single, your wife will not be enough for you when you’re married. </li><li>You fantasize; it’s almost impossible to masturbate without fantasizing, which creates strongholds in the mind. </li><li>You violate God’s purpose for sex, which is for procreation and pleasure by putting the other person’s sexual needs and desires above your own. Masturbation eliminates both. </li><li>You open the door to other sexual sins, such as pornography, premarital sex, adultery, and more. </li></ul><h4>ORAL SEX</h4><p>Permissible within the covenant of marriage, but is considered fornication outside of marriage because it is a sexual act. Oral sex should only be with mutual consent and enjoyment— never a demand. In the Song of Solomon, God encourages married people to enjoy His gift of sex to the full. Some who have studied the Bible, such as Joseph Dillow (Solomon on Sex), think that “fruit” and “garden” references may be meant as metaphors for oral sex. </p><h4>ANAL SEX</h4><p>No scriptures specifically mention anal sex, but this doesn’t mean that it is not a sin. Scripture is clear that your body belongs to God and is the temple of the Holy Spirit; as an act of worship, your body is to be presented to God as holy and acceptable </p><p><i ><strong>1 Corinthians 6:16 (NIV):</strong>&nbsp; Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your body. </i></p><p><i ><strong>Romans 12:1 (NIV):</strong>&nbsp;Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. </i></p><p>The act of anal sex is referred to as sodomy, which the Bible condemns as an unnatural way to have intercourse. Hence, anal sex is defiling the marriage bed. Whenever you intentionally put your body at risk for harm and disease, you are dishonoring God’s &quot;temple.&quot; </p><p>Here are a few health reasons explaining the harmful effects of anal sex:</p><ul><li>The anus is full of bacteria. Penetration can tear the tissue inside the anus, allowing bacteria and viruses to enter the bloodstream. Having vaginal sex after anal sex can also lead to vaginal, bladder, and kidney infections. </li><li>The anus was designed to hold in feces. Because the sphincter muscle was not designed to dilate continuously like the vagina, forced dilation can lead to future incontinence, which means repetitive anal sex can lead to a weakening of the anal sphincter, making it difficult to hold your bowels. </li><li>Studies show that the person receiving anal sex often experiences shame and embarrassment which can lead to depression. </li></ul><h4>FANTASY</h4><p>Whether you are married or single, sexual fantasy is sin. Jesus said, &quot;But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart&quot; (Matthew 5:28 (NIV)) . When you fantasize sexually you &quot;look&quot; at a woman through the eye-gate of your mind and lust for her within your heart. </p><p>The Apostle Paul writes, &quot;Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things&quot; (Philippians 4:8 (NIV)). Fantasies are what Satan often uses to highjack and defile our minds. Furthermore, sexual fantasy often leads to masturbation and opens the door to premarital sex and adultery. </p><h4>PETTING (TOUCHING YOUR PARTNER’S PRIVATE PARTS)</h4><p>Permitted within marriage by mutual consent, but is a sin outside of marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7:1 (KJV), Scripture says, &quot;It is good for a man not to touch a woman.&quot; One of the meanings for the Greek word for &quot;touch&quot; means &quot;to press against in such a way as to kindle or catch on fire.&quot; So another way to translate this verse would be, &quot;It is good for a man not to touch a woman so that they become sexually aroused.&quot; </p><p><i ><strong>Note:</strong>&nbsp;Some of the above information is adapted and/or summarized from the Marriage, Sexuality and Personal Development section from Probe Ministries:<a href='http://probe.org' target='_blank'>probe.org</a></i ></p> 

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Conquer Series

NOT HARDER

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TRY SMARTER

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Join 1 million men in over 80 countries who are learning to live free of porn through the proven strategies and practical tools taught in the Conquer Series. Now in ten action-packed digital episodes, each containing Biblical teaching to help men walk in freedom.

MEN ARE GIVING UP PORN BECAUSE OF THIS

Warpath is a brand new, comprehensive and powerful video series for men who have completed the Conquer Series. It takes men deeper into subjects presented in the Conquer Series and provides new tools and insights to maintain a life of sustained sexual integrity.

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CONQUER SERIES AND WARPATH

The Study Guide highlights the most essential points from each video lesson and maximizes the overall impact. The study guide is a crucial component to the effectiveness of this class.

Study Guide

The Journal helps you to take the powerful principles from watching the lessons and put them into practice on a daily basis.

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CONQUER SERIES

Stronger Together

Becoming Stronger Together

5 LESSONS

Host, Dr. Doug Weiss, renowned Christian sex-therapist, speaker, and author, coined the term, Intimacy Anorexia, a silent marriage killer that affects millions of couples. For decades, he has successfully helped couples heal from the pain of emotional and sexual divorce. Stronger Together is an original cinematic series that delves into the stealthy epidemic of intimacy anorexia. This intensive class is designed to help couples begin their healing journey towards lifelong intimacy.

How to revive a loveless and sexless marriage

This is no longer boot camp. This is war. Identity is foundational because your identity determines your destiny. Sexual sin was Satan’s masterplan to destroy the identity of Christ in you. As a free man, this is the first area in your Warpath that must be restored. We will cover this in-depth in this first module.

The Warrior Identity

Reframing your identity in Christ

In Joshua chapter 6, soon after the warriors shouted a battle cry, the walls of Jericho collapsed, and they charged forth. God doesn’t just want you to move into your “Promised Land,” He wants you to help others reach theirs as well. In the next five weeks, you will learn to declare war by reclaiming the hearts you’ve broken, while also claiming new ground in your Warpath.

Declartion of War

This is Your War Cry

Trauma is real.  To find complete healing, we have to face and process our scars.  As warriors, God has designed us with the ability to retrain and reprogram our minds and healing the invisible wounds is key to this process. This module is designed to help you identify the remaining wounds, old patterns, and damaging beliefs that continue to keep you from experiencing healing in your innermost being. In the weeks ahead, you will discover how God can reframe your woundedness and experience His victory in the places of your deepest scars.

Battle Scars

Moving Past Your Wounds

Understanding the addicted brain is empowering. In this module, you will study the different sexual templates that have been the driving forces behind your unwanted sexual struggles. You will discover the connections between your darkest fantasies and your deepest needs. Furthermore, you will be given powerful principles on how to permanently avoid relapse. Over the next few weeks, Dr. Weiss will give you the tools to help you reclaim victory over the Waterloo of your mind. 

Winning your Waterloo

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Disclosure remains to be the “Wild West” in regard to sexual betrayal recovery.  With the confusion and misleading concepts surrounding full disclosure, many marriages have experienced further damage. Dr. Weiss shows us it doesn’t have to be that way. This module will equip you to do disclosure right from the get-go. You’ll be introduced to several types of disclosures that you will need to follow; as well as how to best protect your wife and your family during this delicate process.  By the end of this class, you’ll be D-Day ready. 

D-Day of Disclosure

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In the next few weeks, you’ll be trained to rewire your tendency to be “Me” focused to becoming “We” focused. This module is designed to teach you emotional literacy so you can learn to maturely handle your - and your wife’s - emotions like a real warrior of Christ. You’ll be given the building blocks needed to rebuild your ground zero so you can move into an authentic marriage and experience the fruits of healing. Dr. Weiss will give you proven disciplines to develop emotional fitness so you can restore your wife’s trust and be the hero she deserves. 

Rebuilding Ground Zero

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Warpath

RETRAIN THE BRAIN

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29 LESSONS

Host Dr Doug Weiss, acclaimed Christian sex-therapist, psychologist, and author has trained thousands of men how to break free from sexual bondage. The Conquer Series is boot-camp, which shows men how to find sobriety within 90-days. Warpath, the follow up to Conquer Series, equips men for battle so they can remain free for life.

HOW TO LIVE PERMANENTLY FREE FROM PORN

Join 1 million men in over 80 countries who are learning to live free of porn through the proven strategies and practical tools taught in the Conquer Series. The Conquer Series is boot-camp, Warpath equips men for battle so they live permanently free from porn.