Addiction Doesn't Take A Break During Christmas
Why does porn use go up at Christmas?
Because the holidays stack several triggers at once. Free time with no accountability, family gatherings that stir up stress or old abuse, exhaustion from constant activity, loneliness for those with nowhere to go, and new devices under the tree all raise the risk. Google search data showed porn viewing spiking during Christmas week. Plan rest, fill the time on purpose, and stay in daily contact with your accountability group.
Christmas offers extra time with family and friends for many.
For support walking through this, betrayal trauma recovery is a good next step. If this is on your church's radar, porn recovery resources for churches is worth a look.
It also provides plenty of free time for negative pursuits, however.
A look at 2016 Google Search Trends shows that porn viewing spiked during the week of Christmas equaled only during mid-summer.
Related Article: Churches Urged To Take Action Over High Porn Use In Summer
Not only that, the days following the holidays are often higher in porn consumption. Americans are most likely to consume porn on December 27—two days after celebrating the birth of Jesus.
What drives this peak in online porn traffic during the holidays?
There are five reasons, or triggers, that people experience during the holidays that explain why this happens. These triggers are important to consider for those struggling in this area.
Trigger 1: Free Time
Those extra days off from the office may feel like paradise, but they can also become an extra source of temptation.
With no one watching and a lack of accountability, the situation can quickly become ripe for those struggling with sexual addiction.
In Episode 2 of the Conquer Series, a cinematic video series that helps men break free from porn, viewers are asked:
“Why is it that so many Christian men who love the Lord can’t stop their behavior? The entire battle for purity takes place within eight inches of grey matter—your brain. Knowing where the battle takes place is crucial to every man’s victory.”
When the brain is given time to decompress and relax, it can be a wonderful time of rest… but watch out!
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It can also be a time for powerful temptation to enter our lives.
Related Article: 4 Triggers To Be On The Lookout For This Christmas
Trigger 2: Family
How can a family be a trigger for viewing porn?
For many people, family time is a wonderful experience. Yet for others, family time increases stress.
For some, family members have been sources of past abuse that can trigger sexual thoughts and feelings.
Episode three of the Conquer Series identifies these issues as your sexual triggers, including your arousal template and trauma profile (the wounded areas of your life). If family time is a major stress or temptation, it is important to be aware of it and prepare for it.
You may not be able to avoid all unpleasant interactions over the holidays, but bracing yourself for this potential trigger offers hope.
Related Article: How Past Hurts Fuel Porn Use & Where To Find Hope
In addition, you may need to recover with a quick call to a trusted friend. This will help defend against the emotional low and vulnerability that may occur after a difficult family meeting.
Trigger 3: Feeling Tired
While Christmas can offer a time of rest for some, for others the holiday season is exhausting.
There is always one more gathering to attend, another present to buy, or food to prepare.
These activities may be positive, but the results sometimes are not.
Counselor Floyd Godfrey of Family Strategies Counseling Center notes:
“Addiction is wired into the limbic area of the brain, so when you’re tired, you’re more susceptible to slips. Plan ahead to avoid getting sleep deprived. Rest when you need to so you’ll have the mental energy to fight temptation toward pornography addiction.”
Related Article: Addiction: It Doesn’t Have To Be This Way
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Related Article: 4 Tips To Conquer This Christmas
Trigger 4: Loneliness
Not everyone has family and friends to visit over the holidays.
Those who feel alone are especially vulnerable to temptation.
Related Article: How The Loneliness Epidemic Is Linked To Porn
The combination of additional time alone and feelings of loneliness can drive a person to seek satisfaction in negative ways, including consuming pornography.
Episode five of the Conquer Series refers to intimacy disorder as the root of sexual bondage.
If true intimacy with God and one’s spouse is not accurately addressed, this lack of intimacy can express itself through other means, including increased pornography usage.
A Conquer Group offers positive ways to discuss issues of intimacy without resorting to pornography.
Related Article: Returning Intimacy To Your Relationship
Trigger 5: New Devices
Let’s face it: Christmas gifts often include new electronic devices.
These devices lead to more time using them, including the use of pornographic images and videos.
For example, the day the first iPad was released, porn consumption in America increased by nine percent. Searches for virtual reality porn also experienced a huge spike at Christmas. On Google, searches for “VR porn” doubled during Christmas week in 2016.
Google Trends, searches for “VR Porn,” January 1, 2016 to January 15, 2017
Related Article: Virtual Reality Porn Is The Next Greatest Threat To The Church
As a parent, you must be especially careful when providing new smartphones, tablets, or other devices to your child. Take time to discuss and train your child on how to use devices safely as well as how to respond to inappropriate images and content. Help them understand that they can come to you and talk about it when this does occur.
In addition, you should have additional accountability software installed. There are many accountability systems to help protect you and your family members in this area.
Related Article: Which Accountability Software is Right for Me?
Defending Against Christmas Porn Temptation
In addition to tips shared above, experts have noted three steps to help defend against porn during vulnerable times such as Christmas.
1. Rest:
To defend against temptation during times when you are tired, plan as much as possible for adequate sleep and rest. Simply put, when you are more rested, you are stronger against temptation.
2. Redeem the Time:
Extra free time does not need to be left to temptation. Look for opportunities to invest your time in ways that make a difference in the lives of others. Plan an activity with your family or volunteer at a local community event for the less fortunate. As session five of the Conquer Series challenges, the best way to fight temptation is with a battle plan. Failure to plan is planning to fail.
3. Accountability Group:
Most of us increase our chances of success when we have a friend, guide, or coach in the process. Chances for success increase exponentially when you have an accountability group: The more men you can go to when you need a lifeline, the better. As our schedules get busier, it’s even more necessary to have multiple people in your support system.
A great place to find this is in a Conquer Group, which is a group of men who are holding each other accountable and using the Conquer Series resource as a discipleship guide to help them grow on the path to sexual integrity. Daily communication with one or more of the men in your Conquer Group can offer the ongoing encouragement and guidance needed to face your temptations this Christmas season.
“Put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”–Ephesians 4:22-24
This powerful video series includes Biblical principles and daily practices to help men conquer porn and walk in freedom. You can join the millions of men in over 100 countries who have learned to move beyond “not watching porn” to start living a transformed life.
Start your journey to freedom and get digital access to the Conquer Series today!
Writing at the intersection of faith and neuroscience to help men and women break destructive cycles and walk in lasting freedom.
More articles by Jeremy Wiles →Frequently Asked Questions
Why is family time a trigger for porn?
For some men family gatherings are a joy. For others they raise stress sharply, and for a few, family members were the source of past abuse that still triggers sexual thoughts and feelings. The Conquer Series calls these your sexual triggers, tied to your arousal template and your trauma profile. You may not be able to avoid every hard interaction, but bracing for it changes the outcome.
Does being tired make a relapse more likely?
Yes. Addiction is wired into the limbic area of the brain, so when you are worn down you become far more susceptible to slips. The holiday season is exhausting for many people, with one more gathering, one more gift, one more meal to prepare. Plan ahead so you do not end up sleep deprived, and rest when you need it, so you have the mental energy to fight.
How do I protect my kids from porn on new Christmas devices?
Be deliberate before the box is opened. New phones and tablets mean more screen time, and porn consumption has measurably jumped when major new devices launch. Take time to train your child in how to use the device safely and how to respond when inappropriate content appears. Make it clear they can come and talk to you about it. Then add accountability software to protect the whole family.
What should I do with extra free time over the holidays?
Redeem it on purpose. Days off can feel like paradise, but with nobody watching and accountability thinned out, unstructured time turns into temptation fast. Look for ways to invest those hours in other people. Plan an activity with your family or volunteer at a community event serving the less fortunate. The best way to fight temptation is with a battle plan, because failing to plan is planning to fail.
What is a Conquer Group?
It is a group of men holding each other accountable and working through the Conquer Series together as a discipleship guide on the path to sexual integrity. The more men you can call when you need a lifeline, the better, and busy seasons are exactly when you need several. Daily communication with one or more of them gives you the encouragement and guidance to face temptation through the holidays.
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