Why are men missing from the church?
Because wounded men have been handed a counterfeit version of manhood. In 2003 US church attendance was only 39 percent male, 90 percent of churches struggle to sustain a men's ministry, and over 70 percent of boys raised in church leave in their teens and twenties. Underneath it is hurt. Men medicate pain with porn, food, or alcohol, trading intimacy for intensity. They are wounded warriors, not lost causes.
There is a serious masculinity crisis in churches across the world.
Just take America, for instance. In 2003, the typical church attendance in the U.S. was made up of only 39% male, 90% of churches struggle to maintain a vibrant men’s ministry – and more than 70% of boys, raised in church, abandon it in their teens and twenties. Most never return. In America alone, these numbers are alarming when we consider the future of the Church. But the epidemic is worldwide.
Part of reversing this crisis is helping men break free from pornography and step back into real leadership.
Where manhood in the Church is missing, society offers an infinite smorgasbord of hyper manhood that appeals to most men but, in reality, does hardly anything to help them become real men.
In a world awash in porn, more and more men are falling prey to hell’s master plan, where intimacy is destroyed in the false pursuit of intensity – and the prize for real masculinity is forfeited for fleeting pain-pleasure. When the Body of Christ suffers from emasculated manhood, it will become shamefully ineffective. We need real men to fight the battles of our time.
Let’s face it, there’s a lot of hurt in the world today. Listen to the lyrics of song hits from the 40’s and up, and you’ll see innocence gradually replaced by pain, torment, anger and misogynistic sex.
We’re past generation X, where nihilism is no longer just abstract philosophy – it’s the new reality. So many people try to make sense of the fragmented pieces of their lives, trying to fill an insatiable void in their soul.
Many women battle with emotional fulfillment, while their male counterparts struggle with sexual temptation – and all this goes back to the root of the problem: hurt. If there’s anything we’ve learned from working on the Conquer Series it’s looking beyond the symptoms and dealing with the cause. People medicate their pain and get caught in a noose of addiction, whether it’s food, alcohol or pornography. It’s all a form of escape.
According to brain experts, pornography changes the mapping of your brain. In a nutshell, it makes you numb and dumb.
So when women wonder why men are not stepping up to their role as fathers, husbands, leaders and friends, they need to understand that these men are wounded warriors, but have every potential of being the heroes they dream of.
Related Article: What feminine frogs are telling us about the decline of masculinity
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Every woman’s answered prayer
The Conquer Series is a 10-part teaching series. It’s not just another study tool, but it’s a battle plan for men to identify and retrace the real issues in their lives that have held them back from becoming the man God has called them to be. It’s every wife, mother’s – woman’s answered prayer for the men in their lives.
Sexual integrity has been a “no-zone” topic in the church for so long, but it’s usually here that we find real transparency and integrity once men are able to get rid of the denial structures they’ve built around themselves. Each video is like a piece of God’s armor that men can learn to use.
Besides the compelling and in-depth teaching in the series, we also include inspiring testimonies from real-life heroes. These are famous athletes, artists, speakers and experts. The series is also pumped with adrenalin. We’re including reenactments based on our host’s experience in battle. Our host, Dr. Ted Roberts, was a Marine fighter pilot in Vietnam. You’ll be watching action-packed dogfight scenes and dramatic reconstructions based on his powerful testimony.
Related Article: How To Disciple Men Into Leaders
What will you do?
We need your support by “liking” our Conquer Series fan page: http://www.facebook.com/conquerseries
But we’re also looking for people who’d like to be part of our social media team. We’re developing a grass roots campaign and need every bit of help from our fellow bros and sis in Christ to help us create a tsunami of a campaign for the Series.
We need folks who will volunteer their time on Twitter and Facebook; people who will blog about the Conquer Series and help us recruit our TEAM 100. This is TEAM 100: We’re trying to find 100 people who will devote their time to each find 10 churches who will take on the series. This is a world-wide campaign and we hope that you’d be a part of it.
For more on this, take a look at whether restoration is possible after porn addiction and why men can’t quit porn alone.
Writing at the intersection of faith and neuroscience to help men and women break destructive cycles and walk in lasting freedom.
More articles by Jeremy Wiles →Frequently Asked Questions
What does the church lose when men disengage?
It loses its effectiveness. When the Body of Christ suffers from emasculated manhood, it becomes shamefully ineffective, and the battles of this generation go unfought. Where real manhood is missing in the church, the culture happily supplies a counterfeit: an endless menu of hyper-masculinity that appeals to men and does almost nothing to make them into men. The church cannot afford to leave that vacuum open.
Why do men turn to pornography to cope?
Because they are medicating pain, not chasing pleasure. The root under most of these struggles is hurt, and people numb hurt with whatever is closest, whether that is food, alcohol or pornography. It is all a form of escape. In a world awash in porn, intimacy gets traded for intensity, and the real prize of masculinity is forfeited for something fleeting that never actually touches the wound.
Does pornography change the brain?
Yes. According to brain experts, pornography changes the mapping of your brain. Put plainly, it makes a man numb and dumb: less able to feel, less able to think clearly, less present to the people who need him. That is why dealing with behavior alone never works. Looking past the symptom and addressing the cause underneath it is the only approach that produces lasting change.
Why do men seem absent as fathers, husbands and leaders?
Because many of them are wounded, not indifferent. When women wonder why the men around them are not stepping up, the honest answer is that these are wounded warriors carrying something they have never named or healed. That is not an excuse, and it is not a life sentence either. Every one of them has the full potential to become the man his family is praying for.
What is the Conquer Series?
The Conquer Series is a 10-part teaching series that functions as a battle plan rather than another study tool. It helps men identify and retrace the real issues that have kept them from becoming who God called them to be. Each video works like a piece of God's armor a man learns to use, alongside in-depth teaching, testimonies from real men, and cinematic reenactments drawn from actual combat experience.
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