4 Tips To Help You Avoid Porn This Thanksgiving
How do I avoid porn over Thanksgiving?
Plan for it before the day arrives. Thanksgiving Thursday is one of the slowest porn viewing days of the year, but the Monday after is one of the busiest, because isolation returns. Name your triggers, including relatives who hurt you, and decide ahead how you will handle them. Call your accountability partner before and after. Read Scripture and pray. Practice gratitude, which Philippians 4:11 and 4:13 model.
The Thanksgiving holiday typically brings to mind traditional thoughts of spending time with family and friends while enjoying food, football, and fellowship. Warm and fuzzy pictures of loved ones gathered around a table overflowing with food are everywhere.
But for people struggling with pornography, the Thanksgiving season can be a difficult time filled with stress and anxiety. A major pornography website’s statistics illustrate the challenges porn users face.
The website said that Thanksgiving Thursday is the second slowest viewing day of the year. The day involves much interaction with family and friends and makes it more difficult for the porn user to sneak away to his secluded viewing place.
Since porn addicts thrive on secrecy and isolation, being around a lot of people all day can be very stressful and uncomfortable. As a result, the Monday after Thanksgiving is the website’s second busiest day. This indicates that once the families have returned to their homes, the porn addict quickly seeks out his solitude and computer screen.
Related Article: How The Loneliness Epidemic Is Linked To Porn
Being Content
According to a national treatment resource center, “When they are forced to face family and reality at Thanksgiving, addicts may try to tell themselves to hold it together for just one day, but the end result is most often a sharp spike in their addictive behaviors. The reason for this is human nature. We all want to be as comfortable as we can be in any situation, especially one where we have something to hide or feel ashamed of.”
Related Article: When Trying Harder Isn’t Enough
Despite the pressures that may accompany the Thanksgiving season, Christians should recall the Apostle Paul’s encouragement to be content regardless of the circumstances. “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content…I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:11, 13).
Being content includes being thankful for all the blessings God has given you, even though you may feel unworthy.
Related Article: Thanksgiving: Gratitude In The Midst Of Chaos
Dr. Heath Lambert, the author of Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace, explained, “If you struggle with porn, one of your greatest needs is to grow in the grace of gratitude. Just because you may never have thought about it doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Porn is only consumed by thankless people.”
Dr. Lambert added,
“The desire for porn is a desire to escape from what the Lord has given you into a fake universe full of things you do not have and will never have. Porn is the trading of gratitude for greed…Every greedy glance at pornography is a missed opportunity to be thankful to the Lord and to others for all the good things in your life.”
Related Article: Thanksgiving: Gratitude In The Midst Of Chaos
Avoiding Triggers
As Thanksgiving approaches, it is important for you to be aware of the triggers that you may encounter. For instance, if you are single and holidays tend to make you feel depressed because you are alone, then try to make opportunities where you will be around a few close friends.
Or perhaps you know that a relative who abused you verbally, sexually, or physically when you were a child will be at some gathering. If so, you may want to skip that event so your mind is not flooded with bad memories that make you want to seek out porn for comfort.
Christian Drug Rehab noted, “Maybe it’s how your mother micromanages the mashing of the potatoes or the way you and your siblings fall into the same rivalry patterns you’ve been manifesting since elementary school. If you think back on Thanksgivings past, you can probably identify the sorts of events, patterns, or comments that create resentment or that make you want to use.”
Whatever your triggers may be, try to anticipate where you may encounter them. Develop plans on how you will avoid or handle them so that you are not caught off-guard.
Related Article: Stress Triggers Sexual Addiction: 5 Steps To Fighting Back
Tips To Help Avoid Medicating With Porn
Viewing porn involves trying to self-medicate the pain from past negative experiences. But porn is not a medicine or a remedy, and actually causes tremendous agony and destruction to the user and his family.
Paul Cole, the president of the Christian Men’s Network, said,
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“Sexual addiction is akin to the body breathing in methane gas. While methane isn’t itself poisonous, it displaces the oxygen in a person’s lungs. A man inhaling methane gas smells no odor and is unaware he’s in a lethal situation. However, the gas chokes all the air out of his lungs, puts him to sleep, then kills him. Similarly, sexual addiction slowly replaces the breath of life from a man’s heart.”
Related Article: The Silent Marriage Killer (VIDEO)
Thanksgiving may increase or ignite your feelings of shame and guilt, creating an intense desire to escape to porn. So here are a few tips to help you during the Thanksgiving holiday.
Related Article: Give Thanks For The Progress You’ve Made
Tips To Get Through Thanksgiving
1. Get Support
If you belong to a small group or have a trusted accountability partner, call one of them a couple days before Thanksgiving. Tell them your concerns or anxieties so they can help you make a plan for handling them.
Call them whenever you need to during the holiday and then, when it is over, call again to discuss how things went and how you might better handle the upcoming Christmas season.
Related Article: 4 Tips To Conquer This Christmas
2. Don’t Have Unreasonable Expectations
Don’t expect everything to go as planned. If the turkey is too dry, arguments pop up, or kids get too rowdy, just remember that is common at family gatherings. Nothing will go perfectly, so don’t let anything stress you. Look for opportunities to create new memories.
3. Pray And Trust God
Be sure to pray and read the Bible. Spending time with God is vital to your recovery, and not just at the holidays. Then trust God to give you the strength and protection for the stressful days ahead.
Related Article: How Meditating On God Changes Your Identity
4. Be Grateful
Remember this holiday is all about being thankful. Even if you are still struggling with pornography, you have so much to be thankful for this year. Take time to thank God for all His blessings and His eternal love for you.
Related Article: Give Thanks for the Progress You’ve Made
You Can Overcome Porn
Let Thanksgiving be the time you recognize that God truly loves you, and He wants to see you living a porn-free life. The Conquer Series, a 10-week course for small groups, has helped millions of men around the world begin their journey to a porn-free lifestyle.
Each video includes powerful testimonies, scientific evidence, solid Biblical teaching, and military reenactments. An online journal and interactive study guide are also available to help you stay focused on your recovery and avoid relapse.
Eric Wagner said,
“This program is the first and only program I’ve heard of that actually speaks to the problem and does not berate, belittle or work out of false assumptions about the addiction and gives true practical methods to come to an actual solution…Find a way to embrace The Conquer Series. Let God use it to set you free from all of the shame and doubt and disgust you feel.”
Don’t let another day pass by without taking action to find the healing that you deserve. Get started today at SoulRefiner.com.
Writing at the intersection of faith and neuroscience to help men and women break destructive cycles and walk in lasting freedom.
More articles by Jeremy Wiles →Frequently Asked Questions
Why does porn use spike after Thanksgiving?
Because isolation returns. Thanksgiving Thursday is the second slowest viewing day of the year for a major porn website, since the day is full of people and there is nowhere to slip away. A national treatment resource center explains that addicts "may try to tell themselves to hold it together for just one day, but the end result is most often a sharp spike in their addictive behaviors." The Monday after is that site's second busiest day.
How do I handle a relative who triggers me?
Plan before the day rather than during it. If a relative abused you as a child, you may decide to skip that gathering rather than spend the day flooded with bad memories. Christian Drug Rehab advises, "If you think back on Thanksgivings past, you can probably identify the sorts of events, patterns, or comments that create resentment or that make you want to use." Decide in advance how you will handle each one.
What does gratitude have to do with porn recovery?
Everything, more than most men expect. Dr. Heath Lambert, author of Finally Free, writes, "The desire for porn is a desire to escape from what the Lord has given you into a fake universe full of things you do not have and will never have. Porn is the trading of gratitude for greed... Every greedy glance at pornography is a missed opportunity to be thankful to the Lord and to others for all the good things in your life."
How does an accountability partner help over the holidays?
Call one of them a couple of days before Thanksgiving rather than afterwards. Tell them your concerns and anxieties so they can help you make a plan for handling them. Call again during the holiday whenever you need to, and once more when it is over to talk through how things went and how you will handle the Christmas season ahead.
What if the day goes badly?
Expect some of it to. The turkey may be dry, arguments will pop up, the children will get rowdy. That is a normal family gathering, not a sign of failure. Unreasonable expectations set you up for the disappointment that sends you looking for an escape. Pray, read Scripture, look for chances to create new memories, and thank God for what you do have.
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