How This Dad Is Preparing His Kids for a Pornified World
How can I prepare my kids for a pornified world?
Do more than ask if they are okay. One father talked to his sons about pure eyes from age 8 and checked in every few months, and they said fine every time while both were struggling. His accountability questions produced guilt, not help. What changed things was sitting down together each week and watching the Conquer Series with them, giving the material room to speak instead of interrogating.
When my boys were very young, I knew they would someday face certain temptation regarding pornography. I was determined to head that off.
For leaders wondering where to begin, porn recovery resources for churches is a good resource.
As young as around age 8, I talked to my boys about keeping their eyes pure, and what images to avoid. I then followed up with accountability; asking them every few months how they were doing. I continued asking the questions well into their teenage years and always got a “fine” from them.
I was convinced that every young man growing up today will battle with pornography except for two: my two.
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I was wrong. Eventually my oldest son confided in me about his battle with pornography. Later I learned that both my boys dealt with it, but got in the habit of just telling me everything was ok each time I asked. My accountability questions brought on guilt, but did not help my boys.
Conquer Series
Around this time, I kept seeing advertisements for the Conquer Series in Charisma Magazine and elsewhere. I eventually looked into it, but was hesitant to buy it at first. Feeling at a loss for how to help my boys, I did finally purchase the series.
My only regret was not purchasing the Conquer Series sooner.
This video series is amazing! Once a week I would sit with my boys and watch a video. Initially I wanted to keep it low key for them so I did not have them go through the SAST test, nor did I have them follow through with all of the suggested activities the first time through. I figured the material would speak for itself, and it did.
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I could tell my boys were both impacted by them. They both expressed gratefulness that I not only purchased the series, but took the time to watch the videos with them too. That’s significant, coming from teenage boys!
If I could go back in time, I would have purchased these sooner and started watching age-appropriate sections with them at a younger age.
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Building A Foundation
I also have two daughters, both in their early 20’s. I decided to give this series to my oldest daughter to watch with the hopes that she would want to have her future husband watch these with her someday. She was so impacted by the materials that she not only agreed to watch them with her future husband, but shared them with her best friend too.
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My wife and I believe in the materials so much that my wife now even talks about sharing the Conquer Series with family and close friends.
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Planning For The Future
As parents, we want to invest in our children. We’re willing to spend a lot of money on sports, education, and even recreation. It is vitally important that we plan for their future, not just in terms of the hopes and dreams that we have for them, but also for the struggles that they may face.
These videos are a small price to pay for the well-being of your sons (and daughters).
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If we can prepare our kids now, the trickle effect of the struggle will not have the potential to hurt so many. I have no doubt that if you purchase the Conquer Series and watch it with your boys, you will agree.
Jeff Bush is a father, backpacker and software developer from Montgomery, Alabama.
Sign up for digital access to the Conquer Series and leave your kids a legacy of integrity like Jeff did.
Writing at the intersection of faith and neuroscience to help men and women break destructive cycles and walk in lasting freedom.
More articles by Jeremy Wiles →Frequently Asked Questions
At what age should I talk to my kids about porn?
Earlier than feels comfortable. This father began around age eight, talking with his boys about keeping their eyes pure and what images to avoid, and he still says his only real regret was not starting sooner with age-appropriate material. Assume your children will face this at some point and prepare them before the exposure, rather than scrambling to respond after it has already happened.
Is the Conquer Series appropriate for teenage boys?
This father watched it with his teenage sons, one video a week, and both were clearly impacted. They told him they were grateful he had bought the series and, just as much, that he took the time to sit and watch it with them, which is no small thing coming from teenagers. Parents should preview the material themselves and choose age-appropriate sections for younger kids.
Should my teenager fill out the SAST or do all the exercises?
Not necessarily on the first pass. This dad deliberately kept it low key with his sons, skipping the SAST and not pushing them through all the suggested activities the first time through. He trusted the material to speak for itself, and it did. Starting gently removes the interrogation feeling and lets the teaching land before you add assessments and assignments on top.
Can the Conquer Series help daughters too?
This family found that it can. The father gave the series to his oldest daughter, hoping she would one day watch it with her future husband. She was impacted enough that she agreed to do exactly that and passed it on to her best friend as well. His wife has since talked about sharing it with extended family and close friends too.
Why should parents invest in prevention before a problem appears?
Because we already do it everywhere else. Parents spend freely on sports, education, and recreation, planning for their children's hopes and dreams. Planning for the struggles they will likely face deserves the same seriousness. Preparing children now also limits the trickle effect, so that a struggle passed along quietly through a family does not go on to hurt so many people.
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