5 Reasons To Further Your Conquer Leader Training
Why do Conquer Group leaders need more training?
Because the role grows far past showing videos. Dr. Doug Weiss names five realities leaders hit: the group becomes an ongoing ministry, the issues run darker than expected, leaders feel out of their depth with abuse, addiction, depression, and suicidal thoughts, they need their own accountability, and they end up talking with wounded, angry wives. Training gives them tools and confidence for all of it.
I have met some awesome Conquer Leaders as I have traveled around the country. As a practical tool to help men live a life of sexual integrity, many leaders started out thinking that they would show the Conquer Series to help a few guys move forward from their struggles.
Over time, the Conquer Series has grown and expanded into an international movement. Many of these leaders are seeking more tools and information to help the men that they committed to leading.
If you're leading men through the Conquer Series, further training only makes you more effective.
So, how can these leaders grow? There are many aspects in which a Conquer Leader can grow to better assist the men in his group.
After many years of hearing group leaders asking for training, we decided to take the step toward growing these men as leaders through our first ever Conquer Leadership Training Conference in July 2019. In this first-of-its-kind conference, we tackled some key areas of leadership:
1. Ongoing Ministry
Most leaders never imagined that their group would turn into an ongoing men’s ministry. They didn’t realize that they would be walking through complicated issues month after month, year after year. They didn’t realize how many hours of one-on-ones they would have.
Over the course of time, they also learned how many marriages were impacted by sexual sin, and the importance this ministry holds. Through this training, Conquer Leaders learned how to work this ministry long term for the benefit of their individual leadership growth and the growth of their group members.
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2. Darker Than They Thought For Sure
Most of the men who courageously took up this responsibility couldn’t imagine how prevalent these issues were in their church and community. Beyond that, leaders face dealing with a range of levels of unimaginable things men get into sexually and relationally.
Over the years, I have had an extensive number of leaders send me emails asking all types of questions about specific situations which they felt they were out of their comfort zone to assist. The information presented in this conference helped to equip group leaders to be an intelligent light in this messy world.
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Leaders now have more tools than ever to give men practical next steps on their Conquer journey.
3. How Over Their Head They Feel
These leaders didn’t expect that they would be dealing with such a range of issues. Everything from sexual abuse, same sex issues, prostitution, illegal matters or guys cheating with strippers. Mental health diagnosis’, depression and suicidal thoughts are also some underlying issues that Conquer Leaders could come up against.
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As the President of the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy, I have been working with these types of issues daily for more than thirty years. To those who aren’t specifically trained to deal with these problems, the overlying feeling of responsibility to solve them can be overwhelming.
My goal is to help leaders feel confident in bringing healing to the diverse issues in their groups. At this conference, we unpacked, in-depth, some great biblical steps to implement with men who face complex issues.
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4. What About Me
As a leader, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. What do you do when you are tempted or even fall in some way? Who are you to be accountable to? These are real questions.
You can be safe and have an indestructible marriage with the tools that were obtained at the training.
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5. Helping The Wives
This is probably the most unexpected surprise when a man steps up to lead a Conquer Group. The man thinks he is going to only be talking to men. As a leader, it’s important to be able to have conversations with the wives. They have been wounded, hurt and angry.
These wives are looking to you as a leader who helps keep their husband in check. Some leaders’ wives feel called into this ministry and some do not, so having the conversation about leadership and ministry is important in marriage. We discussed the boundaries and principles of involving wives in this ministry and having the confidence to do this in the process.
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After attending this introductory leadership conference, Conquer Leaders were equipped and prepared to deal with the listed issues and ready to take the charge in this battle against sexual sin.
Porn In Church Banner:
I strongly encourage any current or future leader of the Conquer Series to become committed to becoming more prepared because this ministry you are in is only getting bigger as we prepare the church for her greatest hour in world history.
Related Article: What To Do After Completing The Conquer Series
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, his newest title “Lover Spouse”. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com
Writing at the intersection of faith and neuroscience to help men and women break destructive cycles and walk in lasting freedom.
More articles by Jeremy Wiles →Frequently Asked Questions
What does leading a Conquer Group actually involve?
Far more than showing a video. Most leaders never imagined their group would become an ongoing men's ministry, walking through complicated issues month after month and year after year, or how many hours of one-on-one conversations it would require. Over time they also see how many marriages in their church have been touched by sexual sin, and how much weight this ministry actually carries.
What kinds of issues come up in a Conquer Group?
Harder ones than most leaders expect. Men bring in sexual abuse, same-sex struggles, illegal matters, mental health diagnoses, depression and suicidal thoughts, and leaders quickly find themselves outside anything they were trained for. That feeling of responsibility to solve it all is overwhelming. Training exists so a leader can be an intelligent light in a messy world and give men practical biblical next steps instead of guessing.
Who holds a Conquer Group leader accountable?
The leader needs his own accountability, and this is the question most often skipped. What do you do when you are tempted yourself, or when you fall in some way? Who are you answerable to? These are real questions with real consequences, and leaving them unanswered puts both the man and his marriage at risk. Training gives leaders the tools to build a marriage that can withstand this work.
Should a Conquer leader talk with the wives?
Yes, and it is usually the most unexpected part of the role. A man steps up thinking he will only be talking with men, then finds himself in conversations with wives who are wounded, hurt and angry, and who look to him as the leader keeping their husband accountable. Clear boundaries and principles matter here, as does an honest conversation with your own wife about whether she feels called into this ministry.
Is there training available for Conquer leaders?
Yes. After years of group leaders asking for it, Soul Refiner began running leadership training built specifically around these five pressure points, unpacking practical biblical steps for men facing complex issues. Leaders leave equipped and prepared rather than improvising. If you currently lead a Conquer Group or expect to, getting trained is worth it, because this ministry is only getting bigger.
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