Short story is that I spent two tears in a military brig after being found guilty at a courts martial of attempted sexual assault. I continue to fight the charges and hope appeals go in my favor but let me state unequivocally that the behaviors I was engaged in were wrong regardless of legality. It was not what I should have been doing as a Christian man, father, grand-father or Naval Officer. The last 2+ years has given me an opportunity to explore how I got to where I ended up, how to keep from getting back there and hopefully how to help others avoid the same mistakes.
During the is time I have been able to explore how I ended up here, discovered I was not alone in my struggles or my shame and am in a much better place now than I was before this all happened. I have a deeper and richer understanding of God, of my own sexuality and how science confirms over and over the truth of the Bible. Books like the Body Keeps the Score, Everyman’s Battle, The War Within and Wire for Intimacy have helped me understand how my past impacted my actions, how my lack of understanding and teaching about sexuality allowed me to abuse myself and how the lies of our culture (specifically in the military) are destroying lives and relationships.
I went through the Conquer Series as well, though on my own and found it to be a breath of fresh air and welcome perspective that doesn’t shun science (I’m a Meteorologist and Oceanographer) nor neglects God. I was unfortunately unable to get it to others around me as you will read in the attached letter. I am going to mail off my DVD’s and workbooks to Pastor Nick in Okinawa where I know he can use them and will be joining Bob Reehm’s Military Officer fellowship which is going through Every Man a Warrior series, in Monterey CA where I now live.
It is my desire to help bring the message of responsible use of our sexuality to other service members. To teach them the dangers of abusing this most wonderful gift from God and keep them from reprogramming themselves the way I did. Please pass on my thanks to Dr. Roberts and the rest of the staff that were responsible for the Conquer series. I know that there is not a group in my area but I’d like to change that and I would like to share my story with others.
I have done so in groups in the Military Brig in San Diego (even though we were not allowed to have CS), have spoken about it at Toast Masters and talk about it in my very secular required Sex Offender meetings but I want to become more informed and better equipped to help others. Please feel free to pass on my info, this email and the attached letter. I have noting to hide, hiding things was killing me and I don’t plan on letting it have a second shot.
I hope to hear back and look forward to finding a way to bring this message to my fellow service members.
Published with the writer’s permission and reproduced as written, apart from the removal of contact details.