Kristina Douberly’s story

Darin Keeter’s story

Short story is that I spent two tears in a military brig after being found guilty at a courts martial of attempted sexual assault. I continue to fight the charges and hope appeals go in my favor but let me state unequivocally that the behaviors I was engaged in were wrong regardless of legality. It was not what I should have been doing as a Christian man, father, grand-father or Naval Officer. The last 2+ years has given me an opportunity to explore how I got to where I ended up, how to keep from getting back there and hopefully how to help others avoid the same mistakes. During the is time I have been able to explore how I ended up here, discovered I was not alone in my struggles or my shame and am in a much better place now than I was before this all happened. I have a deeper and richer understanding of God, of my own sexuality and how science confirms over and over the truth of the Bible. Books like the Body Keeps the Score, Everyman’s Battle, The War Within and Wire for Intimacy have helped me understand how my past impacted my actions, how my lack of understanding and teaching about sexuality allowed me to abuse myself and how the lies of our culture (specifically in the military) are destroying lives and relationships. I went through the Conquer Series as well, though on my own and found it to be a breath of fresh air and welcome perspective that doesn’t shun science (I’m a Meteorologist and Oceanographer) nor neglects God. I was unfortunately unable to get it to others around me as you will read in the attached letter. I am going to mail off my DVD’s and workbooks to Pastor Nick in Okinawa where I know he can use them and will be joining Bob Reehm’s Military Officer fellowship which is going through Every Man a Warrior series, in Monterey CA where I now live. It is my desire to help bring the message of responsible use of our sexuality to other service members. To teach them the dangers of abusing this most wonderful gift from God and keep them from reprogramming themselves the way I did. Please pass on my thanks to Dr. Roberts and the rest of the staff that were responsible for the Conquer series. I know that there is not a group in my area but I’d like to change that and I would like to share my story with others. I have done so in groups in the Military Brig in San Diego (even though we were not allowed to have CS), have spoken about it at Toast Masters and talk about it in my very secular required Sex Offender meetings but I want to become more informed and better equipped to help others. Please feel free to pass on my info, this email and the attached letter. I have noting to hide, hiding things was killing me and I don’t plan on letting it have a second shot. I hope to hear back and look forward to finding a way to bring this message to my fellow service members.

Michael Williams’s story

I truly love this series and would be happy to give a full testimonial any time! I have become our local church advocate for Men’s Sexual Integrity groups in my local church which has about 800 members. I am now leading 2 groups through the material and will continue to do so. I believe God has called me to this ministry and intend to never stop calling other men out isolation and denial. One of my current groups is a non-profit men’s group rehab program called U-TURN FOR CHRIST. Here is a link to their website. Every week, I dive an hour each way to bring this class to the residents at their restoration ranch. These men are struggling with addictive lifestyles and the consequences of living a life of addiction. Of course, many of them are broken and exceptionally wounded, and many of them overlook their sexual addictions as minor compared to chemical addictions. This material has opened their eyes to see that in the brain, all addictions behave the same and most if not all have their root in woundedness. Even broaching the subject of sexual purity and pornography has been eye opening to them. This group cannot function as a “typical” conquer group. The guys at the ranch are living full time in rigid accountability and structure as they try to piece their lives together so they can get back into the world, contribute to society, and serve others. Some only make it a few days in this structure, others “Level Up” to the next phase of the program where they get help getting jobs, living on their own, and rebuilding the broken relationships in their lives. This fluctuating dynamic of the group makes it challenging, but the group’s leadership finds this teaching so valuable that no matter how long they stay in the class, they want their guys to go through it and hear it whether it is one week or 8 weeks. Michael Williams Director of Facilities and Technology (541) 930-1546 – cell

Ryan Adrian Odendaal’s story

I really feel like I want to share my testimony with you, I’ll keep it short. I am writing from Port Elizabeth (now Gqeberha), South Africa, I am part of a church called Harvest Christian Church. Two years ago one of my buddies decided to host a Conquer group, it was around August 2020, 5/6 months into our Pandemic lockdown and I think his heart was, ‘how can guys be okay, with all the isolation at the moment,’ because this will naturally cause a man to get up to nonsense. He was so right, but my pornography and lust addiction was on and off since the end of 2009 :-( so I think the pandemic lockdown just made it ‘easier’ to isolate, be secluded and get up to no good. Our group got off to a weird start, there was a city-wide power outage and so we actually postponed the launch night until one of the guys offered up his place, that had power, but it was about 30min to go to get there and we all, 10 of us guys, lived on different sides of the city, but you know what, I think all but 2 of the guys made it that night and we launched and we hit the ground running, for 10-weeks straight. At times it was at a major personal cost, but the benefit that I have received from this has been life changing. I remember that time and time again, Dr Roberts when speaking about re-programming the brain (neural pathways), that I would get very despondent thinking I don’t have up to two years to wait for this process to happen, I wanted a quick fix, but I guess God knew all along what his plan would be. We completed the 10 weeks towards the end of 2020 and I was free, pornography and masturbation dealt with, not in a prideful way, and I was set. I did suffer a setback in about July 2021, but very quickly asked myself the question, ‘is it worth it to go down this path again,’ and so got on with pursuing purity yet again. I started dating a wonderful woman in September 2021, been engaged since April 2022 and getting married now on the 8th October 2022, very soon from now, and all I can say is, it’s almost been 2 years, hallelujah!! How crazy how that actually worked out. Conquer doesn’t work like it’s some sort of plaster that you apply to a wound, it works because as a man I learnt to take up my sword and fight. I really want to thank you guys personally and on my fiancé’s behalf that I get to go into my marriage having openly told my fiancé about my past struggles and that it is in my past. Sincere thanks, Ryan