Why It's Imperative To Fight For Your Freedom
Why do I still struggle with porn years after getting free?
Because freedom has to be protected, not just won. Pastor Biz Gainey found porn around age ten, spent nearly two decades in secret, and says that twenty years out of his worst cycle he still fights its pull at times. He noticed every relapse came in a season when he stopped investing in recovery. Stay connected to other men, because a solo warrior gets picked off.
In a single calendar year, men, women, and children around the world view enough pornography to fill five centuries of time. Yeah, you read that right; in twelve short months, we will see enough porn, globally, to fill five centuries of time. Clearly, the fight for freedom is still being waged.
This Is War
Many of the videos we watch are some of the most violent and vile in nature. Videos depicting scenes of things like incest, teen and child porn, toon porn, VR porn, etc. Porn’s distortion of human dignity knows no limit. Even so, many men are unable or unwilling to admit an addiction, and so few spouses have the tools or courage to ask.
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While you may not personally be a porn-addict, realities such as these are stark reminders that we are all, undoubtedly, in the fight of our lives. The statistics are staggering as our culture is consumed with the dehumanization that porn has either nurtured or single-handedly caused.
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Senior Pastor Biz Gainey shares his journey,
“Porn addiction happens quickly and usually hits us early in life! I was about ten years old when I first stumbled into porn. In today’s culture, it seems that children are exposed to porn somewhere between the ages of 8 and 11. I’ve ministered to children as young as 7 who have been exposed to porn. Even at such a young age, I have witnessed the patterns of addiction to porn already emerging. My first encounter with porn would lead to an eighteen to twenty-year secret obsession.
Thankfully, I began the long steady walk into freedom two decades ago. Yet, even today (20 years out of my worst cycle of addiction), though I am free from porn, I still, at times, have to fight hard against porn’s pull. For many men, this reality is frustrating. I often hear, ‘why do I still struggle after all these years?’ Believe me, I understand that question and the frustration – even agony – that lies beneath it!
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At some point, everyone who is on a journey into freedom comes to grips with the fact that it’s a life-long journey. Porn simply doesn’t let up. Even so, we can be free. As we live and walk in this freedom, we have to recognize that we will always have to protect our freedom and can never, ever, take it for granted.”
Related Article: This War For Your Mind Started Thousands of Years Ago
Freedom Isn’t Free
Much like our country fights hard to protect the freedoms we daily enjoy, we must fight against porn to ensure we experience today’s freedom tomorrow. This fight to protect and enjoy freedom from sexual sin is not for wimps. It might just be the hardest challenge you will ever face.
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Pastor Biz continues,
“When I first began to experience freedom, I remember also experiencing relapse again and again and again. I soon realized that every time I relapsed was a season during which I quit investing in my recovery. The more I stay engaged in and involved with recovery ministries, resources, and tools, the more I enjoy the freedoms of a porn-free life!”
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Relationships Are Important
You can’t stay free for an extended season if you are trying to fight this battle alone. We know that a solo-warrior gets picked off every time, it just doesn’t work. You may be healthy now, but if you are fighting this by yourself, then you have terribly underestimated porn’s effect to have you in its grip! We are a culture that is soaked in porn, and it will always try to pull us under and drown us in its cesspool!
According to Mark Brouwer, a trainer and expert in sex addiction and recovery,
“All addictions are terribly isolating, and sexual struggles are the worst. The shame keeps us from being honest, and the time it takes pulls us away from developing friendships.”
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You can’t win this war by yourself. If you want freedom, you will need to connect with others who are on the same journey. For this reason, we encourage you to consider joining a Conquer Group. Not only will you meet godly men who have already fought this battle, but you’ll find prayer, encouragement, and support. And all of these components are vital to your success.
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The Road To Freedom
With porn’s global influence, coupled with the nature of addiction, it means that we can never take our freedom for granted. Most importantly, as we enjoy our freedom and live into the hope our freedom provides, we must also implement a strategy to protect the freedom we enjoy and seek out ways we can share that freedom with others.
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Pastor Biz concludes,
In my life-long walk into freedom, away from addiction, I have found that my story gives others hope. They have confidence because they see someone who has and is still engaged in an intentional and strategic plan to preserve and protect hard-won freedom. If freedom like this is possible for me, then it’s also possible for you. Don’t give up! Don’t give in! Dig in and fight for tomorrow’s freedom today!
Discover how to live a life free from porn, Get Access to the Conquer Series today.
Writing at the intersection of faith and neuroscience to help men and women break destructive cycles and walk in lasting freedom.
More articles by Jeremy Wiles →Frequently Asked Questions
How much porn does the world watch in a year?
In a single calendar year, men, women, and children around the world view enough pornography to fill five centuries of time. Twelve months of global viewing adds up to five hundred years of footage. Much of it is violent and degrading in nature, and porn's distortion of human dignity shows no sign of a limit. Those numbers are a reminder that every one of us is in the fight of our lives.
Why can't I quit porn on my own?
Because addiction isolates, and sexual struggles isolate worst of all. Mark Brouwer, a trainer and expert in sex addiction and recovery, says, "All addictions are terribly isolating, and sexual struggles are the worst. The shame keeps us from being honest, and the time it takes pulls us away from developing friendships." A solo warrior gets picked off every time. If you want freedom, connect with others walking the same road.
What happens in a Conquer Group?
A Conquer Group puts you shoulder to shoulder with other men on the same journey toward freedom from porn. You meet godly men who have already fought this battle and come out the other side, and you find prayer, encouragement, and steady support. Those components are not extras. They are vital to your success, because this war simply is not won by yourself.
At what age are kids first exposed to porn?
Usually between eight and eleven years old, and sometimes younger. Senior Pastor Biz Gainey, who first stumbled into porn at about ten, shares, "In today's culture, it seems that children are exposed to porn somewhere between the ages of 8 and 11. I've ministered to children as young as 7 who have been exposed to porn. Even at such a young age, I have witnessed the patterns of addiction to porn already emerging."
How do I protect my freedom from porn long term?
Treat freedom the way a country treats its liberty: something you defend daily, not something you assume. Senior Pastor Biz Gainey shares, "every time I relapsed was a season during which I quit investing in my recovery. The more I stay engaged in and involved with recovery ministries, resources, and tools, the more I enjoy the freedoms of a porn-free life!" Stay connected to other men, and share your freedom with someone who needs hope.
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