Learn How These 3 Men Quit Porn
How did these men finally quit porn?
Not by reading the Bible more, praying more, and trying to be better Christians. Those things are good, but they leave the core issue of shame untouched. A man in bondage does not have a porn problem so much as an intimacy disorder. Kyle, who lost his marriage after years of affairs, says understanding what porn had done to his brain is what finally broke the chains.
Read your bible more. Pray more. Become a better Christian.
That’s the three step process that most Churches recommend to a man who’s struggling with porn. Those are good things, but contrary to what most of us believe, it keeps the man trapped in bondage because you’re not helping him deal with the core issue – shame. He doesn’t have a porn problem, he has an intimacy disorder.
Related Article: What Keeps Men Trapped In Porn? 3 Steps Towards Freedom
These three men took a surprising approach to finding freedom from porn. It’s surprising because it’s not the “try harder” approach most churches advocate. The process of finding freedom they followed is deeply rooted in Biblical teaching and taught in the Conquer Series, a film series that’s been watched by millions of men and in over 100 countries and 50,000+ churches.
Kyle
Like most boys, Kyle was introduced to porn at around 10 years old. He quickly became addicted. “It ruined my high school life, my college life, and my young adult life,” Kyle explains. God took everything away from Kyle after the collapse of his marriage due to “multiple extra-marital affairs and a hidden second life.” Kyle explains,
Related Article: How Viewing Porn Is Wounding Your Wife & Hurting Your Family
“Immediately, through the teachings in the Conquer Series, I was able to understand my 25+ years of pornography and sexual addiction. I was able to understand what it had done to my brain… I was able to completely break the chains of sexual bondage.”
The great news is God restored Kyle’s relationship with his wife and they’ve given birth to a third child. They both lead a marriage ministry at their church.
Related Article: This Local Church Is Helping Women Deal With Porn & Betrayal
Related Article: How These Men Are Getting Over Porn
Andy
What starts as a moral problem, quickly becomes a brain problem.
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At the moment of sexual release, dopamine is released in the brain, along with other neural chemicals that bond the viewer to the images. So the advice to “just stop it” does not work. It takes time to renew the mind, so there is no quick fix. The Conquer Series lays out biblical strategies and provides practical tools that men are using to find freedom.
Related Article: How To Delete Porn From Your Brain
“I’m in the military, and have struggled with porn addiction in the past. I bought the Conquer Series to share with other military men, but ended up watching it in the living room with my dad over a 3 week period. My dad and I are both thankful to the Lord and KingdomWorks for producing the Conquer Series.” – Andy (the views presented here are personal and do not necessarily represent the views of DoD or its components.)”
As Christians, we’ve developed notions of God that have crept into our own thinking which are keeping us in bondage. The Conquer Series helps to destroy those strongholds, while providing real solutions to live porn free.
Related Article: 6 Lies Men Believe When They Struggle With Porn
Related Article: How Toxic Shame Traps You In The Destructive Cycle of Porn
Ronald
The Conquer Series isn’t just helping men find freedom from porn, it’s making them ACTIVE members of their church!
According to Ronald,
“Ever since the first time I watched the Conquer Series I have felt a pull to be more involved. The Conquer Series has given me the vehicle to help other men realize their identity. I want to be a recovery coach and guide other fathers in leading their families with eternity in mind.”
Free men, free men. If you want your church to grow, then help men find freedom.
How could your small group or congregation benefit from watching the Conquer Series and understanding God’s design for sexuality? Will you help the men of your church find freedom from pornography?
Writing at the intersection of faith and neuroscience to help men and women break destructive cycles and walk in lasting freedom.
More articles by Jeremy Wiles →Frequently Asked Questions
Why doesn't reading the Bible more stop porn use?
Because it leaves the core issue untouched. Bible reading and prayer are good and necessary, but a man in bondage is not fighting a shortage of spiritual disciplines, he is fighting shame. Told only to try harder, he stays trapped and adds another failure to the pile. What actually helps is dealing with the shame and understanding what porn has done to his brain.
Is porn addiction really an intimacy disorder?
That is how the Conquer Series frames it. A man caught in sexual bondage does not so much have a porn problem as an intimacy disorder, and porn becomes the counterfeit for a connection he cannot manage in real relationships. Treating only the behaviour leaves the disorder in place. Addressing the shame and the wounds beneath it is what changes the pattern for good.
What happens in the brain when a man views porn?
At the moment of sexual release, dopamine floods the brain along with other neurochemicals that bond the viewer to the images he is watching. What began as a moral problem quickly becomes a brain problem. That is why telling a man to just stop it fails. Renewing the mind takes time, so there is no quick fix, only steady biblical strategy and practical tools.
Can a marriage be restored after years of porn and affairs?
Yes. Kyle lost his marriage after more than twenty-five years of pornography and sexual addiction, including multiple affairs and a hidden second life. He says, "Immediately, through the teachings in the Conquer Series, I was able to understand my 25+ years of pornography and sexual addiction. I was able to understand what it had done to my brain... I was able to completely break the chains of sexual bondage." God restored the marriage, and the couple now leads a marriage ministry at their church.
How does helping men find freedom help a church grow?
Free men free men. When a man steps out of bondage he stops hiding, and men who stop hiding start serving. Ronald put it this way: "Ever since the first time I watched the Conquer Series I have felt a pull to be more involved. The Conquer Series has given me the vehicle to help other men realize their identity. I want to be a recovery coach and guide other fathers in leading their families with eternity in mind."
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