Pastor Caught On Ashley Madison Commits Suicide
Why did so many pastors end up on Ashley Madison?
Because ministers can come to believe they must be flawless to lead. When hackers leaked the details of 32 million Ashley Madison subscribers, church leaders were among them, and one pastor, John Gibson, took his own life afterward. His wife Christi said ministers start thinking they have to be perfect. Dr. Archibald Hart put it this way: ministers fall because they forget they are men.
So often we hear comedians make light of adultery or pornography, but is it really just harmless fun?
If your church is facing this, porn recovery resources for churches can help you take the next step.
For people around the world who struggle with pornography and sex addiction, it certainly is not! At some point the truth comes out, and their families feel torn apart and betrayed by the lies told to cover up their dark secret.
Ashley Madison
Hackers disclose the personal details of 32 million subscribers on Ashley Madison
This became all too real for users of Ashley Madison, a dating website for married individuals seeking partners for affairs. The details of 32 million subscribers were leaked by hackers, which included a number of church leaders.
The hackers posted a statement when they released the data which read:
“Find yourself on here? It was ALM that failed you and lied to you. Prosecute them and claim damages. Then move on with your life. Learn your lesson and make amends. Embarrassing now, but you’ll get over it.”
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Related Article: Pastor’s Porn Use Exposed – How God Is Using Him Now
Tragedy
Unfortunately, the way that addiction sets itself in the brain, coupled with a deep, toxic shame cycle means that most people can’t just get over it. This was the case for John Gibson, a Pastor and seminary professor from New Orleans who tragically took his own life after his details were released as part of the Ashley Madison hack. John was a husband and father to a daughter and son.
Our thoughts and prayers are with the Gibson family as they continue to work through the grief of John’s death.
John’s wife, Christi said, “I think what happens to someone who is a minister is that they start thinking of themselves as having to be perfect. They start believing that in order for them to help others, in order for them to lead others and minister to others, they have to be flawless themselves.”
Related Article: The Fallout of Porn: How the Church Can Help Hurting Wives
Dr Archibald Hart, author of Habits of the Mind confirms this, “Ministers don’t fall because they forget they are Christians, they fall because they forget they are men.”
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Satan Came To Steal, Kill, & Destroy
You see, Satan has a plan in all things including adultery, and that is to “steal, kill and destroy.” He sells us the lie that we have to have it all together, then when we fail to live up to that impossible standard we begin to believe that we are worthless.
Related Article: What Keeps Men Trapped In Porn? 3 Steps Towards Freedom
But God has a bigger plan made available through the death and resurrection of Jesus.
You only need to take a look at our other blog post to see that God is in the business of taking the adulterer, sex addict or person struggling with porn and transforming them into a healer for others. God wants to take your trash and turn it into treasure!
Related Article: One Man’s Journey: How I Went From Addicted to Porn to Helping Others
“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” 2 Corinthians 4:7
We don’t have to hide from the world the fact that we are just jars made from fragile, muddy clay!
Related Article: This Man Found A Way To Help Pastors Fight Porn
Get Help
If you are dealing with the deep shame of sex or porn addiction in your life and feel like there is no way out, we want you to know that there is help! Men around the world have been able to start the journey towards freedom through the Conquer Series. Will you join us on that journey?
Many men are finding freedom from porn by following the strategies taught in the Conquer Series, a 10-week, video-based course that provides practical tools taught by Dr. Ted Roberts.
Dr. Ted has a 90% success rate in helping men find freedom. Millions of men have used the Conquer Series, including thousands of churches in over 100 countries.
There is hope for you. Sign up at SoulRefiner.com, and get started today!
Writing at the intersection of faith and neuroscience to help men and women break destructive cycles and walk in lasting freedom.
More articles by Jeremy Wiles →Frequently Asked Questions
What was the Ashley Madison hack?
Hackers leaked the personal details of 32 million subscribers to Ashley Madison, a dating website built for married people seeking affairs. A number of church leaders were among them. The hackers told those exposed it would be embarrassing for a while and then they would get over it. For people caught in addiction and shame, it did not work that way at all.
Why can't someone just get over being exposed?
Because addiction sets itself into the brain and locks arm in arm with a deep, toxic shame cycle. The hackers' own message to those exposed was, "Learn your lesson and make amends. Embarrassing now, but you’ll get over it." Most people cannot. Guilt says you did something wrong; shame says something is wrong with you, and that lie is the engine the whole cycle runs on.
Why do church leaders fall into sexual sin?
Because the standard they carry is impossible. Christi, the wife of one pastor named in the leak, said, "They start believing that in order for them to help others, in order for them to lead others and minister to others, they have to be flawless themselves." Dr Archibald Hart, author of Habits of the Mind, puts it another way: "Ministers don’t fall because they forget they are Christians, they fall because they forget they are men."
Does God forgive adultery and porn addiction?
Yes, and He does more than forgive. God is in the business of taking the adulterer, the sex addict and the man struggling with porn and transforming him into a healer for others. He wants to take your trash and turn it into treasure. As 2 Corinthians 4:7 puts it, "We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure."
How can a pastor get help for porn addiction?
Start by refusing to hide any longer, because the secret is what keeps the cycle alive. Men around the world, including church leaders, have begun the journey to freedom through the Conquer Series, a ten-week video-based course with practical tools, now used by thousands of churches in over 100 countries. There is hope for you. Get started at SoulRefiner.com.
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