Have You Ever Wondered What Do Men Really Want
What do men really want if it is not porn?
Freedom. The pull toward porn is a lie from the enemy, whom John 8:44 calls a liar and the father of lies. Like the innocent first drink, the innocent first peek leads to enslavement, trading true love for lust, contentment for greed, and joy for envy. Those trades always come up empty. What you actually want underneath the craving is freedom, and God, who cannot lie, offers it.
Our culture is believing lies on top of lies on top of lies! And they all originate from one place—the master deceiver himself, the liar from the beginning, the father of lies according to the Word of God—Satan. He is the master at getting us to believe a lie and embracing it as truth.
John 8:44 “You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.”
When we as men are deceived into thinking we want the thrill and temporary satisfaction of viewing pornography, what we fail to see is the spiritual warfare behind that temptation.
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No one plans to become an alcoholic when they drink their first beer. And they certainly never think an “innocent drink” could one day make them lose all self-control to the point that they would lie, cheat, steal, or abuse their wife. But sadly, we know the end result of the unchanged alcoholic’s path.
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Loss of Innocence
Like the “innocent first drink”, the “innocent first peek” is all part of Satan’s snare—his lie. What we don’t realize is that Satan ultimately wants us to trade true love for lust; godly contentment for greed; and ultimate joy for envy. Poor trades indeed.
Yet over and over we make the trade. We men think we can innocently look without affecting anything or anyone outside our own minds. But like the man innocently beginning with a few beers, looking at pornography leads to enslavement.
Think about it for a moment. Hollywood makes movies that praise the exploitation of women and people are willing to pay to go watch it on the big screen. But when a man actually acts upon the seeds these images plant in his mind, not only does the weight of social justice come down on him with full force, but he also finds out that it was all empty and meaningless. He fails to recognize that it was Satan’s plot to lead him to total destruction all along. Satan would love nothing more than to take you and I to the end of his playbook where there awaits mistrust, envy, rejection, the #MeToo Movement and lawsuits.
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Deceit
Many today would claim, “It’s ok to think it. Just don’t do it.” Meanwhile, Satan’s plot continues, dragging society deeper and deeper into depravity. Gradually, the mind justifies sexual impurity with many excuses why sexual sin isn’t really that bad. Unwittingly men slowly creep into what they will eventually discover is Satan’s cage. Without warning, terror strikes their heart when they hear the trap door snap tight behind them.
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Related Article: 6 Lies Men Believe When They Struggle With Porn
Do men really want the consequences of indulging in porn? Do men really want a lying tongue, deceitfulness, ungodly thoughts, envy, greed, damaged relationships, divorce, accusations, bad decisions, and lawless acts? Is that what men really want?
No! No, it is not. I can tell you what men really want. What men really want is FREEDOM! Sweet freedom from bondage. Sweet freedom from slavery to sin. Freedom from unbridled indulgence. Illusive freedom from the lack of self-control. Freedom from the lack of trust. That freedom from ruined relationships with those they love most. That freedom, true freedom, is only found in one place.
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Search For It Like Great Treasure
So exactly where do men find the freedom we really want? That we crave? That we cry out for? Where can we ditch Satan’s lies for truth?
Related Article: C.S. Lewis on Porn and Masturbation
That one place of true freedom is found only through the blood of Jesus Christ! God offers us total forgiveness of sin! God offers us a personal relationship with Himself, the Creator of the universe and our Abba Father through the power of the risen Savior! I know this to be true in my life because it comes from the source of all truth—God Himself. Unlike Satan, the father of lies, God cannot lie!
Titus 1:2 “In hope of eternal life which God, who cannot lie, promised before time began.”
Men! God is the only one we can trust to be straight up with us.
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This short video testifies of how my Abba Father lovingly took me from a place of Satan’s bondage to the place of God’s freedom! It was a privilege to be a part of the Conquer Series curriculum, prayerfully designed to help guide you along the path to what men really want… FREEDOM. It’s what you really want, and it’s available for you.
I double dog dare you to take this journey to discover what men really want.
Start your journey to freedom with the Conquer Series today.
Writing at the intersection of faith and neuroscience to help men and women break destructive cycles and walk in lasting freedom.
More articles by Jeremy Wiles →Frequently Asked Questions
Why does looking at porn just once matter?
Because the innocent first peek works exactly like the innocent first drink. Nobody plans to become an alcoholic when they open their first beer, and nobody plans to lose self-control to the point of lying, cheating or wounding their own family. Looking leads to enslavement by degrees, which is why it never feels like a decision at the time.
Is it okay to think about it as long as I never act on it?
That is one of the most popular lies going, and it is how men end up caged. Gradually the mind justifies sexual impurity with a long list of reasons it is not really that bad, and a man creeps further in without noticing. The terror comes later, when he hears the trap door snap shut behind him.
What is the spiritual battle behind porn temptation?
John 8:44 calls the enemy a liar and the father of lies, and temptation is his craft, not merely your appetite. What he actually wants is for you to trade true love for lust, godly contentment for greed, and ultimate joy for envy. The end of his playbook is mistrust, rejection, accusation and destruction. Those are poor trades, yet men make them over and over.
What does porn actually cost a man?
Far more than he bargained for. The bill includes a lying tongue, deceitfulness, ungodly thoughts, envy, greed, damaged relationships, divorce, accusations, bad decisions and lawless acts. Ask any man whether that is what he wanted when he first started looking, and the answer is no. The promise was pleasure without consequence, and it was never true.
Where is real freedom from sexual sin found?
It is found in the blood of Jesus Christ, and nowhere else. God offers total forgiveness of sin and a personal relationship with Himself through the power of the risen Savior. Titus 1:2 says God, who cannot lie, promised eternal life before time began. Unlike the father of lies, He is the one voice a man can trust to be straight with him.
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