5 Ways Porn Ruins Relationships

Porn use is not a harmless activity that only involves the person viewing the material. It impacts the man’s family, social life, employment, relationship with God, and every other aspect of his life.

If you're navigating this kind of pain, betrayal trauma recovery can help you find your footing.

Ultimately, the harm done to a marriage relationship is one of the most devastating effects of porn. Since marriage is the basic element of the family and society as God designed it, it would obviously be the focal point of Satan’s attacks.

And pornography is one of his powerful weapons to destroy marriages.

In testimony before the U.S. Senate, Jill C. Manning, a sociologist at Brigham Young University, said, “The marital relationship is a logical point of impact to examine because it is the foundational family unit and a sexual union easily destabilized by sexual influences outside the marital contract.”

Here Are 5 Ways Porn Ruins Relationships.

1. Increases Domestic Violence

Viewing porn exposes a man to many acts of violence against women. One study reviewed scenes from 50 most popular pornographic movies. The majority of the films showed verbal and physical abuse of the women in the scenes.

Another study reports that of the 304 scenes analyzed, 88 percent of the scenes they reviewed depicted violence towards women.

Viewing all this violence can affect the brain of the viewer.

Related Article: This is Your Brain on Porn

According to the American Psychological Association, “mirror neurons are a type of brain cell that respond equally when we perform an action and when we witness someone else perform the same action.”

So when a man watches porn, his mirror neurons fire and he then may want to ‘mirror’ those behaviors with his wife.

2. Increases the Divorce Rate

Using porn puts incredible pressure on a marriage. The man’s secrecy, reduced time with his wife and family, his need to be alone, and the many other patterns of porn usage continually drive the couple apart. Sadly, the possibility of divorce increases.

Research shows that porn use is a significant contributing factor in about half of all U.S. divorces.

In The Real Truth magazine, Edward L. Winkfield said,

“Some make the mistake of seeing pornography as an innocent alternative to engaging in an extramarital affair. Yet studies of the brain have shown that the mind does not readily differentiate such real versus imagined experiences. Therefore, to the brain, there is virtually no difference between viewing pornographic material and an actual sexual encounter with another person, especially when recalling the experience.”

OnlyYouForever’s website notes, “If you believe marriage is the ideal place for two people to become profoundly intimate, which is the journey of a lifetime, and includes emotional, spiritual and sexual intimacy, then pornography use has no place in that paradigm. Because to use porn is to say that the two of you are not enough.”

Related Article: How Viewing Porn Is Wounding Your Wife & Hurting Your Family

3. Creates Feelings of Insecurity

Perhaps the biggest victim of a man’s porn usage is his wife. Realizing that her husband is spending countless hours looking at other women and avoiding her is emotionally crushing.

Zach Douglas stated in Relevant Magazine that “Some women are put in a position where they feel they must compete for sexual and emotional attention with the women in the porn their husbands watch. The “fantasy women” in pornography are portrayed as unrealistically sexually attractive, often because of plastic surgery, stage makeup and digital editing. It is impossible for a real woman to match up to these fantasy women, which can make her feel inferior and insecure.”

Additionally, BJ Foster, Director of Content Creation for All Pro Dad, explained,

“A husband’s porn use validates all of the negative things his wife thinks about herself. If she only looked different, lost weight, was blonde, sexy, wore better clothes, or fit into the right size, are all things that flood her brain, and more importantly, her heart. Ultimately, she feels like she is not enough.”

4. Decreases Sexual Satisfaction with Your Partner

Porn users typically have difficulty relating to or performing sexually with their partners. They have become accustomed to the impersonal relationships with the women on their screen.

Studies have shown that watching porn actually decreases a man’s sexual pleasure. Some porn addicts even crave porn more than being with a real woman.

Dr. Judith Reisman gives a compelling example in this excerpt from the award winning Conquer Series:

Wesley Wiley of Debt to Life said,

“The drug addict craves ‘more’ but the sexual addict craves ‘different.’ In other words, a heroin addict wants more heroin. But a sex addict doesn’t just want more sex, he wants ‘different’ sex. The deception is that ‘different’ will satisfy you, but of course, once you have what you craved you want something different. It never ends.”