How Do I Defeat Porn In My Church?
How can our church actually deal with porn?
Start by naming it out loud without condemning the people in the pews. Pure Desire Ministries found 68 percent of Christian men view porn regularly, and over half of pastors admitted the same, so silence only convinces men they are uniquely perverse. A single sermon is not enough, and shaming from the pulpit guarantees no one comes for help afterward. Churches need ongoing groups where men can confess safely.
Trena Mewborn, Director of Counseling at First Baptist Church on the Mall in Lakeland, Florida, said that many struggling with pornography feel they are somewhat unique.
“This feeling,” she said, “especially in the Christian community is that nobody in this church understands, nobody struggles with this. I am really this pervert or I am really this deviant.”
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Feelings Lie
But studies show that feeling is far from accurate. Pure Desire Ministries conducted a survey of Christian men and found that 68% of men view pornography on a regular basis. Additionally, over 50% of pastors admitted doing the same.
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“Pornography is the greatest cancer in the church today.”– Chuck Swindoll, Insight for Living Ministries
The shocking numbers prove that the church cannot pretend a sexual addiction problem does not exist. It must be addressed. Too many lives are being devastated and negatively affected to ignore it any longer.
For example, Tom Wolfe explains, “I was a youth pastor and I used pornography as a springboard really into a full-blown sexual addiction. And I had a moral failure – a series of failures – and I was found out. And obviously lost my job, lost my church, lost my youth pastor’s job, and for a while lost my family.”
He said he might not have fallen into so much sexual addiction if he had felt he was able to freely confess and talk to somebody about his pornography use.
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How Can A Pastor Deal With Porn
When a pastor realizes what is happening in his church, he typically responds by praying with men who he knows are struggling or does a sermon or a sermon series on the topic and leaves it at that. But more needs to be done.
Dr. San Serio, president of Healing Sexual Hurt, said, “You might think people in your church are way beyond and immune to the temptation of pornography. Most church leaders will ignore this topic. When they do mention it, they’re usually quite loud and vehement in their public condemnation of pornography. After church, they’ll get pats on their backs congratulating them for such a fine and long overdue sermon.”
“May I ask you: Would you want to come to that preacher for counseling after hearing what he or she just said? Would you expect the preacher to scream at or belittle you once again privately in his or her office as was done from the pulpit on Sunday? What tone do you communicate? That’s what I ask myself about this and all other sexual topics from the pulpit, and it’s a good question to ask yourself!”
“Do you know how to preach to men (or women) who are addicted to porn, preaching in such a way that they would want to come to you for help because they feel you do understand and would not condemn them? Do you communicate condemnation, as well as restoration in your message?”
A sermon series is a great start to provide overall teaching about God’s call to the church for sexual purity, but it is essential for churches to run ongoing discipleship. What men really need is not just a sermon, but a process.
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It is vital that the process is based on grace. Men struggling with pornography addiction already wrestle with guilt and shame, so adding condemnation compounds the issue. Grace must be at the center of the process from the very beginning.
Join The Movement
Petra Church in Pennsylvania is part of a movement of churches who have created an ongoing ministry to deal with pornography. These churches use an extremely valuable and proven resource for implementing an effective process called the Conquer Series.
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This dynamic series includes 10 teachings (30-45 minutes long each) and two teachings to assist leaders in using the lessons and format.
The videos are ideal for small groups and home study, and include action-packed cinematic battle reenactments, powerful interviews with brain experts, and testimonies from famous male Christian role models.
The Conquer Series also features a study guide packed with exercises and information to reinforce the principles of the series through setting goals and action plans for the week. Small accountability groups are a core element of the process.
Paul Leninger is the Executive Director of Operations for Petra Church. He shares what they’ve seen happen in their community:
“We are seeing men changed within the first 2 sessions of the Conquer Series because they know they are not alone in this and they feel free to fully disclose their struggle,” says Leininger.
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The Ongoing Process
The sermon series should lead into the announcement of the Conquer Series. At the end of the series encourage the men to find other men who they can guide through the series.
For those who have gone through the Conquer Series twice, offer a Warpath Group. Warpath is a 29-week course intended to follow the Conquer Series, which will take the healing journey to the next level.
Ideally, you should end up running the Conquer Series four times a year so that new men can join. You should also run Warpath simultaneously so men can move into it at the end of the Conquer Series.
Now is the time to engage your church in the battle against pornography. As Mewborn summarizes,
“The more we as a church start putting it out there, I think the more people will feel like they can go to someone, they can ask for help, they can seek out some friends for accountability. It needs to become something that we don’t just try to brush under the rug.”
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Writing at the intersection of faith and neuroscience to help men and women break destructive cycles and walk in lasting freedom.
More articles by Jeremy Wiles →Frequently Asked Questions
What percentage of Christian men watch porn?
A survey of Christian men by Pure Desire Ministries found that 68 percent view pornography on a regular basis, and more than 50 percent of pastors admitted the same. Those numbers matter pastorally, because the men in your pews assume they are uniquely deviant. Knowing how common the struggle is does not excuse it. It removes the isolation that keeps men from ever asking for help.
Why won't men tell their pastor they struggle with porn?
Because of how the topic usually gets preached. When leaders mention porn at all, it is often loud, vehement public condemnation, and the sermon earns pats on the back afterward. No one wants counseling from a preacher who just belittled them from the pulpit. Men already wrestle with guilt and shame, so added condemnation compounds the problem. The tone you use decides whether anyone walks into your office.
What does the Conquer Series include for a church small group?
The series contains ten teachings of thirty to forty five minutes each, plus two additional teachings that help leaders use the lessons and the format. The videos suit small groups and home study and include cinematic battle reenactments, interviews with brain experts and testimonies from male Christian role models. A study guide adds exercises, weekly goals and action plans. Small accountability groups are a core part of the process.
What is Warpath and when should a church run it?
Warpath is a twenty nine week course designed to follow the Conquer Series and take the healing journey to the next level. Offer it to men who have been through the Conquer Series twice. Ideally you run both at once, so that men finishing the Conquer Series can move straight into Warpath rather than losing momentum while they wait for the next thing to start.
How often should a church run the Conquer Series?
Aim for four times a year so new men always have an entry point, and run Warpath at the same time so finishing men have somewhere to go next. The pattern is simple. A sermon series introduces the call to sexual purity, the Conquer Series announcement follows it, and at the end you challenge men to guide other men through the series themselves.
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