The Tragic Consequences of Sextortion: A Parent’s Warning
What is sextortion and how do I protect my kids from it?
Sextortion is when someone poses under a false identity online, manipulates a victim into sending explicit photos, then demands money under threat of publishing them. Law enforcement received over 7,000 reports involving minors in a single year, mostly boys, and more than a dozen of those victims died by suicide. Talk with your kids before it happens, and make clear the victim is never at fault.
The devastating consequences of sextortion scams have once again come to light with the tragic story of Jordan DeMay, a 17-year-old football player from Marquette, Michigan. His parents, Jennifer Buda and Mike DeMay are now urging families to engage in difficult conversations about this pervasive issue, emphasizing that open and honest communication can save lives.
On March 25, 2022, Jordan DeMay took his own life after falling victim to a sextortion scam orchestrated by three individuals from Nigeria. Pretending to be a female online, the scammers coerced Jordan into sending a nude photo of himself, only to demand $1,000 from him afterward.
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Devastated by their mistreatment, Jordan expressed his intention to end his life, to which the scammers heartlessly responded with callous remarks. The tragedy of Jordan's loss highlights the senselessness of this crime and the urgent need for increased awareness.
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Purpose Through Pain
Describing Jordan as a vibrant and charming young man whose smile could light up any room, Jennifer Buda spoke at a press conference alongside federal law enforcement officials to share her son's story.
Despite the pain and grief her family experienced, she and her husband were determined to raise awareness about sextortion, encouraging other families to have the difficult but necessary conversations that can empower their loved ones to seek help if they ever become victims themselves.
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The investigation into Jordan's case led to the identification of the three Nigerian men involved: Samuel Ogoshi, 22; Samson Ogoshi, 20; and Ezekiel Ejehem Robert, 19. These individuals allegedly posed as a girl on Instagram, interacting with "hundreds" of victims, including Jordan.
Following his tragic death, the FBI initiated an investigation that ultimately led them to the perpetrators in Nigeria. The extradition process is currently underway.
What Is Sextortion?
Sextortion, as defined by the FBI, is a crime in which individuals assume false identities online, manipulate victims into sending explicit photos, and then extort money from them under the threat of publicizing the images.
Related Article: How To Safeguard Your Family Online
Alarming statistics reveal that law enforcement agencies received over 7,000 reports of online sextortion of minors in the past year, resulting in at least 3,000 victims, predominantly boys. Shockingly, more than a dozen of these victims resorted to suicide, emphasizing the urgent need for action.
Victims, especially younger ones, often experience feelings of shame and guilt, but it is crucial to emphasize that they are not at fault. Sextortion cases are on the rise, with perpetrators operating worldwide, seeking to exploit minors.
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Special Agent Jim Tarasca from the FBI's Detroit field office noted that this disturbing trend extends beyond Nigeria, with cyber scams originating from various countries, including within the United States. It has become a lucrative opportunity for criminals seeking financial gain.
Porn And Sextortion
Make no mistake, as nefarious as sextortion is, it is propagated by an even more insidious world - the porn industry. While money is the predominant motivator behind both of these dark worlds, some criminals do it purely for the sexual excitement it brings them.
The desire to exploit children for sexual images or money does not occur in a vacuum. The perpetrators who seek out vulnerable minors to exploit usually have an ongoing addiction to pornography.
Related Article: What The Porn Industry Doesn’t Want You To Find Out
Porn is known to have detrimental effects on the consumer, on relationships, and inevitably the world.
Human trafficking and sextortion are two significant results of this. And it is a vicious cycle: pornography creates addicts, who chase the high that porn brings, so they solicit and seek out destructive behaviors such as prostitution, sexting, and sextortion, which only creates more porn and therefore more addicts.
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You're Not Alone
In 2022 alone, Americans lost a staggering $10.3 billion to internet scams, marking the highest losses in five years. This underscores the urgency of raising awareness, educating individuals about the dangers of sextortion, and providing support to victims and their families.
Related Article: Parents Beware: Porn Companies Are Targeting Video Gamers
The tragedy that befell Jordan DeMay serves as a heartbreaking reminder of the impact that sextortion scams can have on young lives. Let his story be a catalyst for change—a call to action to protect our loved ones, initiate those tough conversations, and work collectively to combat this alarming crime.
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please reach out to the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 for free, confidential emotional support, available 24/7. Together, we can make a difference.
Sextortion is illegal. If you or someone you know is a victim, help is available. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children is the nation’s largest and most influential child protection organization leading the fight to protect children. It maintains a multitude of resources for kids and the people who keep them safe. To get help or make a report, visit Cybertipline.org.
If you're a parent navigating this, you may also want to read 6 keys to a godly legacy and how to safeguard your family online.
Helping men move from secrecy and shame toward transparency, accountability, and a renewed identity in Christ.
More articles by Marcos Peres →Frequently Asked Questions
How do sextortion scams usually start?
They start with a friendly stranger. Someone assumes a false identity online, often posing as a girl on a platform like Instagram, and works a conversation toward trust. Once an explicit photo is sent, the tone flips and money is demanded under threat of publishing the image. One case involved a demand for a thousand dollars, and the same account had been working hundreds of victims.
Who do sextortion scammers target?
Minors, and predominantly boys. Law enforcement agencies received over 7,000 reports of online sextortion of minors in a single year, involving at least 3,000 identified victims. More than a dozen of those young people died by suicide. Perpetrators operate worldwide and deliberately seek out vulnerable young people, because shame keeps victims quiet and quiet victims keep paying.
What should my child do if someone is threatening to share their photos?
Tell you or another trusted adult immediately, and stop paying. Your child is not at fault, and saying that out loud matters more than anything else you say. Sextortion is a crime, and help is available. Reports can be made through the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at Cybertipline.org. For anyone in crisis, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is free and confidential at 988.
Is sextortion connected to pornography?
Yes, and directly. The people who exploit minors for images or money rarely arrive there out of nowhere; an ongoing pornography addiction is typically part of the story. It works as a cycle. Porn creates addicts, addicts chase a bigger high through destructive behavior like sexting and sextortion, and that behavior produces more material and more addicts.
Are sextortion scams only run from overseas?
No. One widely reported case traced back to three men in Nigeria, but the FBI has noted that this trend reaches well beyond any one country, with cyber scams originating from many places, including inside the United States. Criminals have found it a lucrative opportunity, and Americans lost a staggering 10.3 billion dollars to internet scams in 2022 alone.
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