Who’s Looking at Porn? The Results May Surprise You
Who is actually watching porn?
Far more people than most churches assume. One major porn site averaged 115 million visits a day in 2019, with 61 percent of visitors aged 18 to 34 and 32 percent of them female. The most common viewing time is Sunday night around 11:00 pm. Pure Desire Ministries found 68 percent of church-going men view porn regularly, and only 13 percent of Christian women have never seen it.
Every year, one major porn website proudly reports its statistics from the previous year. They tend to display them as a badge of honor, idolizing the sex industry. But the reality is that it merely provides a more in-depth look into the darkness lurking on the internet.
The 2019 report found that:
- On average, there were 115 million visits to the website per day. Let’s put those numbers into perspective. That would be the equivalent of every resident in Canada, Australia, the Netherlands, and Poland visiting on a single day.
- More than 1.3 million hours of new content were uploaded to the site. That’s enough content to last for 169 years. In other words, if you started watching the videos in 1850, you’d still be watching them today.
- 61% of visitors to the site are between the ages of 18 and 34 years-old.
- Worldwide, 32% of visitors to the site were female.
- The most common time to watch porn each week is Sunday nights around 11:00 pm.
For the Church, the last statistic should be overwhelmingly surprising. It can be quite shocking to realize that church-going men and women spend time viewing porn.
Related Article: 15 Mind-Blowing Statistics About Pornography And The Church
Porn & The Church
Did you know that in a study conducted by Pure Desire Ministries, it was discovered that 68% of church-going men view porn on a regular basis? Just think about it for a second.
Related Article: Why 68% of Christian Men Watch Porn
Over half of the men who are faithfully attending church on any given Sunday are secretly stealing away to solitude to view pornography throughout the week.
They wake up early, help get their family ready for church, spend time in praise and worship, hear a powerful message, and ultimately end up leaving the church no better than when they entered. They are drowning, and are desperate for help. But they remain stuck in the quicksand that only wants to sink them to an even greater depth.
These men are not alone. Studies have found that only 13% of self-identified Christian women have never looked at porn. If you do the math, you’ll realize that at some point in time, 87% of Christian women have viewed pornography. This doesn’t mean that they purposefully looked for it, but it shows the pervasiveness of porn in today’s society.
Related Article: What Every Church Needs to Know: Women Struggle With Porn Too
Related Article: Why 68% of Christian Men Watch Porn
Trying Harder
Often, there’s no real support provided for those who struggle, and too often, they’ve heard the regular accusations when someone else admitted to having a problem. And we’ve all heard them. You know, the ones that say, “You’re not spending enough time with the Lord.”, “You should be praying more.”, “Maybe you’re not even saved, because old sinful nature cannot carry into the acceptance of Christ.”. But praying more and trying harder is not going to cease the existence of a struggle with pornography.
Related Article: The Church’s Typical Response to Pornography & Why It Isn’t Working
Pornography is not about sex. Instead, it’s about controlling or managing our pain, stress, disappointment, and feelings of rejection in life. And while it’s easy to blame our present circumstances, the truth is that the root cause of pornography will likely be found in the past.
For example, a husband is often quick to blame his wife for his struggle with porn. He claims that she is not being intimate with him as often as he’d like. But in doing this, he’s quickly forgetting that he likely viewed pornography before he married her. So, while the lack of intimacy may be contributing, it’s not the root cause and cannot be the standalone source of blame.
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Your Spouse Is Not The Problem
Dave Wilson speaks several times a year to betrayed wives who are walking through their own healing journey. He was a former sex addict, and now, along with his wife Meg, is passionate about helping individuals and couples heal from sexual addiction. He shared,
“One lie perpetuated even by some counselors and pastors is if you’d be more available sexually, your husband wouldn’t have to go elsewhere. Let me say again, this is un-categorically a lie based on total ignorance of the pathophysiology of sexual addiction.”
Related Article: The Fallout of Porn: How the Church Can Help Hurting Wives
His wife, author Meg Wilson, writes, “There simply is no connection between a wife’s attractiveness and her husband’s sexual addiction. Those who think otherwise don’t understand how the addiction works.”
She continued, “Sexual addiction is simply abusing the natural drugs found in brain chemistry during arousal to medicate emotional pain. It’s not about sex. Let me say this again, because I know people have a hard time grasping this truth: Sexual addiction is not about sex; it’s about escaping and avoiding the pain.”
Related Article: What Men Really Want
Related Article: Why Your Porn Problem Is Not Your Wife's Fault
Discovering The Truth
Remember, the roots of a tree are not usually near the surface of the earth. They, instead, run very deep into the earth and often spread far and wide. They become the support system of the tree. So if the roots were abused, damaged, or disrupted in any way, it can significantly alter the health, strength, and growth of the tree. And so this applies to us, as adults, even those who have committed their lives to Christ.
Undealt with pain, trauma, emotional scars, rejection, and neglect can prohibit us from reaching our full potential. If in our minds, we believe that we’re not enough and never will be enough, we will also feel a disconnect between us and God. Though we may hear countless stories of His love, grace, and mercy, we will struggle to accept that for ourselves.
Often, we’ll adopt an attitude that the love we receive is dependent on our performance. The scariest part of all is that these strongholds of the mind can be so ingrained in our lives that we fail to recognize them. This is why it’s important to get into a study or program that will help identify the lies hiding in our belief system.
Related Article: 6 Lies Men Believe When They Struggle With Porn
Taking A Stand Against Porn
Thankfully, churches all around the world have found a study that can help bring healing and freedom to those in bondage to sexual sin and a variety of other unhealthy habits. It’s called the Conquer Series and it will provide the battle plan for success.
Those who have used this powerful study have learned why trying harder does not work. They’ve become educated on how the brain is changed through the viewing of pornography. They have learned to recognize the painful moments in their past that have contributed to their present struggle. And as a result of that discovery, they have opened themselves up to find the truth, healing, and freedom in Christ that they’ve longed for and deserve.
Join the Conquer Series
It’s time for the Church to stand up and fight for those who regularly attend services, and empower people to go out into the streets to reach a lost community. Only then will we see the tide turn around. By choosing to do nothing, we’re allowing porn companies to further line their greedy pockets. And know this, they will continue to do so at the expense of innocent men, women, and children who are so frequently trafficked into these situations.
Related Article: Which U.S. State Consumes The Most Porn?
Now is the time to sound the alarm and get involved! A hurting generation is awaiting freedom, and that freedom will benefit generations to come.
Writing at the intersection of faith and neuroscience to help men and women break destructive cycles and walk in lasting freedom.
More articles by Jeremy Wiles →Frequently Asked Questions
What percentage of Christian men watch porn?
A study by Pure Desire Ministries found that 68 percent of church-going men view porn on a regular basis. That means over half the men sitting in a service on any given Sunday are quietly fighting this at home during the week. They are not rebels who stopped caring. Most of them love God, pray, and still cannot stop on their own.
Do Christian women struggle with porn as well?
Yes. Studies have found that only 13 percent of self-identified Christian women have never looked at porn, which means 87 percent have seen it at some point. That does not mean they all went looking for it — much of it shows up uninvited. It does mean the church needs help and support built for women, not only for men.
When do most people watch porn?
The most common time to view porn each week is Sunday night around 11:00 pm. For the church, that detail should stop us cold. The same people who worshipped that morning are often struggling alone that night, having heard a powerful message and left carrying the same weight they walked in with. Sunday is not a shield.
Is my husband’s porn use my fault?
No. Meg Wilson, an author who with her husband Dave helps couples heal from sexual addiction, is direct about it: "There simply is no connection between a wife’s attractiveness and her husband’s sexual addiction. Those who think otherwise don’t understand how the addiction works." Dave Wilson, a former sex addict, calls the opposite counsel "un-categorically a lie based on total ignorance of the pathophysiology of sexual addiction." The root usually predates the marriage entirely.
Why doesn’t praying more stop a porn habit?
Because praying more and trying harder do not touch the root. As author Meg Wilson puts it, "Sexual addiction is simply abusing the natural drugs found in brain chemistry during arousal to medicate emotional pain. It’s not about sex… it’s about escaping and avoiding the pain." Real freedom comes from naming the wounds underneath, understanding what changed in your brain, and learning to fight with God’s weapons in community.
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